Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An escaped convict broke into a house. He tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom and then proceeded to search the rest of the home. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous wife, bound up on the bed with her shorty nightgown up around her waist, and whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex…
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Out on the town one night, a young lad successfully chats up an attractive female, and they go back to her place. “You can’t make any noise,” she warns him. “My parents are upstairs, and if they find out, they’ll kill us!” Things start getting heated up on the sofa, but after awhile, alcohol gets the better of the man’s bladder. “I have to go,” he says. “Well, you can’t go upstairs, it’s right next to my parents’ bedroom,” she…
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Saddam Hussein and Bill Clinton meet up in Baghdad for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bill sits down, he notices three buttons on the side of Saddam’s chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Clinton in the face. Confused, Clinton carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed.…
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1. You dream you’re eating chocolate mousse and you wake up with a spoon up your ass 2 Your grandma omes to give you a good night kiss and slips the tongue in. 3. A dwarf tells you your hair smells nice.
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You know it’s your last day at work when … You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, “What’s this?” you realize you just dropped the company’s deposit in a mailbox. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, “I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one’s your turn”. Your boss is standing behind you. It’s his wife. You sneak into your boss’ office and look at some…
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I have five siblings . . . three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from her first child to her last. She told me she really had mellowed quite a lot over the years . . . “When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”
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A guy once had a parrot that had a very dirty mouth. He would bring a date home and the parrot would squawk, “Somebody’s gonna get screwed!” Of course, the girls would get mad and leave. This went on for about 3 or 4 weeks, until finally he got so frustrated that he went back to the pet store where he had purchased the bird. He asked the pet store owner how to stop his parrot from scaring away his…
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For you ladies (and men so you’re prepared), a little MEN ARE LIKE humor: MEN ARE LIKE… Floor Tiles, if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years. MEN ARE LIKE… Bank Accounts, without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest. MEN ARE LIKE… Blenders, you need one, but you’re not quite sure why. MEN ARE LIKE… Chocolate Bars, sweet, smooth and they usually head right to your hips. MEN ARE…
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No, really, I’m O.K. to drive… – I’m wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I’m going with I’m not used to these darts… – I’m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I’m this bombed. Let’s go out to my car and get some cigarettes…(male to female) – You would look great face down in my lap. Want to check out my new car stereo? (male to female) – I have…
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It was way past midnight and a man was robbing a house. Just then he hears this voice say, “Jesus is gonna get you!” The robber thinks nothing of it and begins to take the T.V. when he hears the voice again: “Jesus is gonna get you!” The robber discovers that the noise is from a parrot, so he walks up to the parrot and says, “What’s your name, little guy?” The parrot replies, “Moses”. The robber says, “What kind…
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