Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Sunday School teacher was telling her class the story of the Good Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead. She described the situation in vivid detail so her students would absorb the drama. Then she asked the class, “If you saw a person lying on the roadside all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?” A thoughtful, little girl broke the hushed silence. “I think I’d throw up.”
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A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. “Joe,” he asked, “which company has the slogan, ‘Come fly the friendly skies’?” Joe answered with the correct airline. “Brenda, can you tell us which company has the slogan, ‘Don’t leave home without it’?” Brenda answered with the correct credit card company with no difficulty. “Now, John, tell us which company bears the slogan, ‘Just do it!’?” John answered,…
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Little Johnny sat in the back of his science class one morning. The teacher rarely called upon him during discussions because he always had a remark to make that would disrupt the class. The teacher came into the classroom with an embalmed cat and said they would study anatomy that day. She asked what was holding the cat’s tail onto its body. Little Johnny waved his hand frantically, but the teacher called on someone else who gave the answer “skin.”…
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A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. “You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear.” At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man’s anus, and then licks it. He asks all the students to do the same thing with the corpses in front of…
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One day during class, the teacher decided to play a guessing game with her students. She said, “I’ll hold something behind my back, give a couple of clues, and whoever guesses what it will win lunch on me.” “Okay,” the teacher said, “the first item is round, red, and has seeds.” Katie raised her hand said, “Is it an apple?” “Sorry Katie it’s not an apple, it’s a tomato, but I like the way your thinking.” “The second object is…
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Constipated People Don’t Give A Crap. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant. If At First You Don’t Succeed… Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling. You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away? The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name Illiterate? Write For Help I Refuse To…
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ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…
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After nearly forty years in practice as a gynecologist, John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love, auto mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in auto mechanics school, and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. Most of the students completed their exam in two hours. John, on the other hand, took…
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While working on a lesson in world religions, a kindergarten teacher asked her students to bring something related to their family’s faith to class. At the appropriate time, she asked the students to come forward and share with the rest of the students. The first child said, “I am Muslim, and this is my prayer rug.” The second child said, “I am Jewish, and this is the Star of David.” The third child said, “I am Catholic, and this is…
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The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so she took him aside after class one day. “Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?” “I’m in love,” replied Little Johnny. Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, “With whom?” “With you!” he said. “But Little Johnny,” said the teacher gently, “don’t you see how silly that is? Sure I’d like a husband of my own someday… but I don’t want a…
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