Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “I’m very angry with the way things are going on earth — this is not what I had in mind! I have accordingly decided to destroy it and start over! In 6 months I’m going to make it rain until the whole earth is covered with water just like before, and all the evil is destroyed; if not, I will wring it out like an old sponge. But rather than start from scratch,…
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One fine day in Ireland, a guy is out golfing and gets up to the 16th hole. He tees up and cranks one. Unfortunately, it goes into the woods on the side of the fairway. He goes looking for his ball and comes across this little guy with this huge knot on his head and the golf ball lying right beside him. “Goodness,” says the golfer then proceeds to revive the poor little guy. Upon awakening, the little guy says,…
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Three chinese were being interviewed to get into heaven. St. Peter asks them, “Tell me what you know about Easter.” The 1st Guy says, “Easter wary big howaday, kids dress up funny, go to neighbor and get candy.” “NO NO, that’s halloween.” The 2nd Guy says, “Easter wary big howaday, family all get together, have big turkey dinner.” “NO NO NO, you’re also confused, that’s Thanksgiving.” The 3rd Guy says, “Easter we celebrate Jesus, how he die for us on…
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A man sat in a bar without money hoping to somehow score a free drink. Thinking up a clever plan, as he was a wood lover he makes a bet with the barman that he can identify any wood by just smelling it, even blind folded. The barman ran outside, picked up a pine and asked the man to smell it, he did so and said, “This is pine.” Giving him his free drink the barman ran out again and…
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Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not! Last words spoken at the Last Supper: “Everyone who wants to be in the picture, get on this side of the table.” Why are there so many Smiths and Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic?” Did you know that half of…
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Q: what do you get when you cross a raindeer and a dill pickle? A: a dilldoe
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To share to whom it may concern: I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again. I want to go to McDonald’s and think that its a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a…
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A woman was looking for a room to stay at. She went to the nearest house and knocked on the door. When the owner of the house answered, the woman asked, “Do you have a room I can stay at tonight?” The man said, “Yeah, but you’ve got to sleep with my retarded son.” She said, “No, thanks anyways.” She went to the next house. When the owners answered the door, she asked for a room. They said, “Okay, but…
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During world war 2 a Scottish general, an English general and an Irish general were captured by a German S.S. officer. They were all standing outside a concentration camp when the S.S. agent says, “Before du go in to die concentration camp , I vill give each of you vone hundert lashes , but since you have vought bravely I vill give you one vish each.” He then turns to the Scottish general and asks him, “Vhat is your vish…
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A woman goes into a meat market and asks the butcher why his pork chops are 99 cents a pound, when the guy across the street is selling his for 89 cents? The butcher says, “Well, then, why don’t you go over there and buy his?” The lady customer says, “Well, he don’t have any. The butcher says, “Well, that’s nothing. When I don’t have ANY, I sell mine for only 79 cents!”
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