Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I was teaching my fifth-graders their weekly vocabulary lesson in reading class and was working on using the word, “afford,” properly. I called on a little boy named Michael, and I asked him what he thought the word, “afford” meant. He, very innocently, replied, “It’s a truck.”
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A Scottish atheist was spending a quiet day fishing in the lake when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air. It then opened its mouth waiting below to swallow them both. As the Scotsman sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast, he cried out, “Oh, my God! Help me!”…
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Do you know how to pass an elephant under the door? Put him in an envelope… What if it doesn’t fit? Take off the seal… How do you hide an elephant in an strawberry field? Paint his nails red… How do you make an elephant not pass by the door? Make a knot in his tail… How do you know that there is an elephant in the pool? There is a round pair of shoes beside the pool… How does…
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A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general, began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing so, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer asks, “Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?” The trooper…
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A lady from Chicago was visiting New York City. Her hostess was determined to make the Midwesterner feel inferior and unimportant. “My dear,” said the New York matron, snobbishly, “Here in the East we think breeding is everything.” “Oh, I don’t know,” the lady from the Midwest replied. “Out where I come from, we think it’s fun, too, but we try to have a few outside interests as well.”
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A flat-chested blonde wanted to have her breasts enlarged but she did not want to undergo surgery. So she consulted a witch doctor who gave her a pill to swallow. After swallowing the pill, the blonde was told by the witch doctor that what she had swallowed was a magic pill. Everytime a man would say the word ‘pardon’ to her, her breasts would grow an inch bigger. After leaving the office of the witch doctor, the blonde bumped into…
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It has come to our attention that a few copies of the “Arkansas Edition of Windows 98” may have accidentally been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have one of the Arkansas Editions, you may need some help understanding the commands. The Arkansas Edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of Frank Broyles superimposed on the Razorback flag. It is shipped with a Leann Rimes screen saver. Also note:…
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A man walks into a supermarket in downtown L.A. and heads straight to the produce section. After looking at the heads of fresh lettuce on display, the customer approaches the store clerk and asks, “Excuse me. Can I buy half a head of lettuce?” Shaking his head, the clerk says, “I’m sorry. But we sell those by the whole head.” “But I don’t need a whole head, just half. C’mon surely you can accommodate my simple request,” insists the customer.…
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“You’re in incredibly fine condition,” the doctor concluded, after finishing a thorough physical exam. “How old did you say you were, Sir?” “Seventy-eight.” “Seventy-eight! Why, you have the health of a sixty-year-old. What’s your secret?” “I guess, Doc, it’s due to a pact the wife and I made when we got married. She promised that if she was ever about to lose her temper, she’d stay in the kitchen ’til she cooled off. And I pledged that when I got…
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NASA wass preparing for another mission and wanted to send a woman into space. To find the right one, NASA officials interviewed a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. They called in the brunette and told her that she was one of the finalists to go into space. Then one of the officials asked her what planet she would like to visit and why. She thought about it and then said that she would like to go to Jupiter and…
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