Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one youngster. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close with this comment: “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find…
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Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t yet started the paper either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a…
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Once upon a time, a beautiful princess was seated on the shore of a pond near her castle. As she combed her golden tresses in the reflection of the pristine water, a frog hopped into her lap and spoke to her. “Dearest Princess, I was once a handsome prince with a thousand servants and riches beyond your imagination. One day a beggar woman transformed me into this frog that you see before you, for she was indeed a witch. But…
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A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy scout and a pastor were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said “I’m a doctor, I save…
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One day a blonde was walking through the woods when she came up to some train tracks, and a brunette was jumping across them chanting “21, 21, 21, 21…” and so on. The blonde asked the brunette what she was doing, and the brunette just kept jumping over the tracks chanting “21, 21, 21, 21…” After the blonde just sat on the tracks watching the brunette jumping the tracks, the brunette jumped aside the tracks and watched the blonde. The…
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A guy is strolling down the street in Chicago where he comes across an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it vigorously, and out pops a genie. The genie offers to grant him one wish, to which the guy replies “I’ve always wanted to be lucky.” The genie grants his wish. So off the guy strolls, wondering how this will change his life, when he spies 10 dollars on the sidewalk. Not a bad start he thinks. As he…
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ADULT: A person who has stopped at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. GOSSIP: A person who will never tell…
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An Army Ranger Instructor was training a new class of recruits in the field. They finished the day of exercises by a river and camped for the night. The next morning the instructor woke up and went to the river to relieve himself. While doing his business an alligator came out of the water and snapped its mouth down on the instructor’s penis. Finding himself in intense pain, he wanted to scream, but did not want to show any sings…
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By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. “You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded, “or just a bed, I don’t care where.” “Well, I do have a double room with one occupant – an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m…
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