Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
After the fall in the Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons, Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, “What’s that?” Adam replied, “Boys, that’s where your mother ate us out of house and home.”
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A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mensroom door, it was “OCCUPIED”. The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside. The buttons were marked “WW, WA, PP and ATR”. Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding…
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A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment they both go to sleep, the woman on the lower bunk, the man on the top. In the middle of the night the man leans over and says, “I’m sorry to bother you but I’m cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket.” The woman leans out and says in a…
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A Dutch friend told me the following nationalistic joke, which is portable to any in-group/out-group situation. It’s best told with some physical illustration on the part of the teller: Two Belgians are digging a deep hole while a Dutch foreman stands at the top of the hole and gives them orders. The slightly more intelligent Belgian asks, “Why are we digging while he stands up there and does nothing?” “I dunno,” says the slightly less intelligent Belgian, and climbs up…
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In the land of cannibals, the cannibals cook was busying himself with a stew pot. Adding spices, tasting the broth, and stirring. Repeating the steps as often as a cook should. A while later the cannibal chief walks up and asks, “Whacha, makin?” “SOUP!” yelled the cannibal cook. Seeing that the cook was not in a good mood, the chief decided to change the subject by asking, “So how’s the family?” “They’re all fine, I guess. BUT I JUST CAN’T…
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A woman gets a call from the hospital. The doctor at the hospital says, “Mrs. Smith, it’s about your husband. He’s been in a terrible car accident.” Mrs. Smith says, “Ohmigod, what happened.” The doctor says, “Well, I’ve got good news, and bad news.” Mrs. Smith says, “Give me the good news first.” The doctor says, “Well, your husband suffered extensive injuries and will take years to recuperate. He broke both of his arms, among other things, so for at…
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A Charlotte, North Carolina man, having purchased a case of rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against …get this …fire! Within a month, having smoked his entire stock of fabulous cigars, and having yet to make a single premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated that he had lost the cigars in ‘a series of small fires’. The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason…
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The Buffalo Theory: A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as…
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A young lady empties her shopping cart on the checkout counter. She has bought: 1 toothbrush 1 lambchop 1 potato 1 carrot 1 pint of milk 1 apple As the checkout guy is scanning her purchases, he glances up at her and says “Single, huh?” “Oh, you’re so fucking clever,” she snaps, “How’d you ever guess?” “Because you’re ugly.”
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While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. “What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked. “That is my talking clock,” the man replied. “How does it work?” the friend asked. “Watch,” the man said. Then he proceeded to give the gong an ear-shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, “KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It’s…
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