Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Five-year-old Timmy is playing with scissors in nursery, and he cuts himself. He rushes to the teacher. “Miss, miss! I’ve cut my hand! I need some cider, miss!” “Cider?!” cries the teacher, horrified, “Why on Earth do you want that, Timmy?” “Well,” explains the boy, “my big sister says that whenever she gets a prick in her hand she puts it in cider.”
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A guy gets set up on a blind date, and he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurant to make a good impression. The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order. The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu–shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar salad, lobster, crepes suzette–with no regard to the prices. The guy is getting very upset, as he never thought she would order so much. She then stops and looks across at…
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A man is in Alaska working on a pipeline. After time goes by, he gets horny and asks his boss what they can do for “fun”. The boss says that since the entire camp of workers consists of only men, and there isn’t a woman around for hundred of miles, that there is a tree out in the woods with a hole in it. When the boys get horny they go and have sex with the tree. The man thought…
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There is a very dangerous virus going around and it is propagated through the e-mail system. If you get an e-mail message with the subject : “VIRUS ALERT!” do not open the e-mail message. If you do, the virus scrambles the second half of every text file on your system. VERY IMPORTANT: If you do get this virus, the first thing yof su ew fosi zxyc fpfpphgas kdjfk skjsdkf ajhds sjhdf oque augdx dsu8 sudk vsaiu ajdk vlkjf !
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President Bush is representing the United States of America on a highly formal, orchestrated state visit to England. Air Force One stops at a bright red carpet along which the President strides to join Queen Elizabeth II in a beautiful, ornate 17th-century coach hitched to 6 enormous matched white horses. The coach proceeds through the streets of London en route to Buckingham Palace, the Queen and the President waving to the cheering throngs. Then suddenly the right rear horse produces…
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A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, “You say you’ve been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?” The wife replies, “It’s my husband — he’s driving me crazy! I’m going to leave him if he continues!” “How does he drive you crazy?” “For 20 years,” she says, “he’s been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he’s always looking at the…
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Medical Student I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation she happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat…
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Q: What do you get, when you cross a $20 bill with a $100 bill? A: THIRTY YEARS (Think about it.)
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Little Johnny asked his mother, “mam, is our new au pair girl a mechanical woman, you know, a robot?” “Of course not, Johnny, why do you ask?” “Well, I just heard Daddy telling the man next door that he’d like to screw her ass off.”
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Four men were enlisted into the military in World War 2. Three were very religious men, and the other was a lawyer who didn’t want to die. On the night before a large battle, the lawyer went to the others and said,”When the first shot flies, get down on your knees in prayer, and the lord will protect thee throughout the day.” The others thought it was a good idea, and would be an excellent test of their faith. The…
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