Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A Junior High School in Memphis, Tennessee sponsored a luncheon for the residents of a senior citizens home. The principal of the school received the following Thank You note. * * * Dear Reyer School: God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens’ luncheon. I’m 94 years old and live at the Memphis County Home for the Aged. My family has long since passed away and I rarely have visitors. As a result, I…
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A woman was looking for the perfect gift to give to her husband on his birthday. While in a pet store she just couldn’t decide on what to get. The clerk suggested a big bull frog. “Well, how much is the frog?” asked the woman. “200 Dollars,” replied the clerk. “Why would I spend 200 dollars on a frog?” she replied back. “Well lady,” the clerk said, “This frog gives head!” So as it turns out the woman buys the…
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Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? (Jared: what do you think?) Whatever happened to preparations A through G? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? I went…
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You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…
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ATTRACTION The act of associating horniness with a particular person. DATING The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time, and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future. EASY A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man. EYE CONTACT A method utilized by a woman to communicate to a man that she is interested…
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A man goes to a pet store looking for a hunting dog. The owner tells him about a very special dog that he has out back. So they go out back and see a nice looking bird-dog. The man is impressed with the dog, but says, “What’s so special about this dog?” The owner answers, “This dog will not only flush out the birds, it will count how many and tell you first.” The man can’t believe it, so he…
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Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On…
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There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…
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A Mexican bandit made a specialty of crossing the Rio Grande from time to time and robbing banks in Texas. Finally, a reward was offered for his capture, and an enterprising Texas Ranger decided to track him down. After a lengthy search, he traced the bandit to his favorite cantina, snuck up behind him, put his trusty six-shooter to the bandit’s head, and said, “You’re under arrest. Tell me where you hid the loot or I’ll blow your brains out.”…
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It was past lunchtime when a man with a cane entered a small diner. When the diner owner handed him the menu, the customer said to the owner, “I’m sorry I can’t read your menu. I’m blind.” The owner apologized and asked what the customer wanted to eat. The blind man said, “Could me bring me a used spoon? I could tell what your special for the day is just by smelling the spoon.” Although the diner owner was skeptical…
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