Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
About eight years ago there was a kid named bort. He had no friends and wasn’t very smart. His teacher, along with the principal knew how dumb he really was. Instead of giving him a lot of homework like the rest of the kids, his teacher told him to go home and think of three words to tell his teacher the next day. He went home and watched T.V when he was watching T.V he decided to start his home…
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A short excerpt from the first solo Canadian space flight. The lone Canadian is guided by NASA and the ship contains himself and two pigs. Naturally the NASA ground technicians are upset over the lack of an American. During the flight the following conversation was recorded between ground control and the crew: NASA: Hello, this is Ground Control for Pig 1. Pig 1, are you reading me? CP1: This is pig 1 for Ground Control. Reading you loud and clear.…
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In the lower ranks of the MIS world, sorting out job titles is a nearly impossible task. Some folks are called Analysts. Some are called Programmers. Some are called Engineers. None of them has window offices. A truly experienced high-tech professional has held five or even six of these positions . . . usually all at the same time. 10. Programmer: This person holds the lowest rank in the DP field. Manages no one. Answers to everyone. Approximately 50% of…
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While we believe we will be fully Y2K compliant by January 1, 2000, and most of our subsidiary units and contractors claim they will also be fully compliant, we obviously need to make some preparations in case unexpected challenges impair our ability to meet the needs of our customers. Enclosed with this memo is a “Y2K Backup System” device designed to meet short time emergency needs in case of a computer operations failure, or operational delay. This device is the…
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Cartoon Law I. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second^2 takes over. Cartoon Law II. Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on…
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Remember the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Well, here is a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing, Prof. Miller. __________________________________ In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a…
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HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. 3. Both mark their territory. 4. Neither tells you what’s bothering them. 5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous. 6. Neither does any dishes. 7. Both fart shamelessly. 8. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. 9. Both like dominance games. 10. Both are suspicious of the postman. 11. Neither…
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X-FILE CASE #1224 ================ 57 ELM STREET BETHLEHEM, PA. 11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH Mulder: Scully! We’re too late! It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been here? Mulder: Someone … or something. Scully: Mulder, over here — it’s a fruitcake.…
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A gang of robbers burst into the bank and ordered everyone present to gather into the open space, to strip and lie down on the floor before they proceeded to get the money from the tellers’ drawers and the bank’s vault. A frightened blonde teller took off all her clothes and then lay face up on the floor. “Psst, Cindy, turn over,” hissed a woman beside the blonde. “This is a stick-up, not an office party!”
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More Things You’d Never Have Known If Not For the Movies: If you overpower a sentry or guard, his uniform will fit you perfectly. It is possible to brush your teeth without any toothpaste foam appearing on your lips. Handsome men don’t belch or fart. If you’re a team of misfits and losers, you’ll win the championship. In a large city, the streets are always wet at night. Most bathrooms do not have a toilet. All orphans can sing and…
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