A man is like a fine wine….
He starts out raw as grapes, and it’s a woman’s job to stomp on him and keep him in the dark until he matures into something she’d like to have dinner with.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Somethin Jokes - page 17
10 things women will NEVER understand about Men:
Men are a misunderstood lot, which all in all is probably for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat with our hands the minute they leave the room or that we use their nail clippers to trim our nose hair. Better for them, better for us. Still, it’s annoying that women spend more time and money trying to understand the minds of cats than they do, wondering about what makes men tick. Which is why they’ll…
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Kid’s View of Baptism
A father is in church with his three young children, including his five-year-old daughter. As was his custom, he sat on the very front row so that the children could better see all that was going on. During this particular service, the minister was performing the baptism of a tiny infant. The little five-year-old girl was most enthralled by this, observing that he was saying something and pouring water over the infant’s head. With a quizzical look on her face,…
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DANGER!!!
“Everyday some new do gooder is trying to save us from ourselves. We have so many laws and safety commissions to ensure our safety that it seems nearly impossible to have an accident. The problem is, we need accidents, and LOTS of them. Danger is natures way of eliminating stupid people. Without safety, stupid people die in accidents! With safety, however well-intentioned it may be, we are, devolving into half-witted mutants because idiots, who by all rights should be dead,…
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King Arthur
King Arthur was worried about leaving Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful, and said that he’d see if he could come up with something, and asked him to come back in a week.. A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin’s laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a…
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Cupid, Aphrodite, and Clinton
Cupid asked his mother (the goddess of love), Aphrodite if Clinton really did cheat on his wife. It goes something like this…. “Mom, you know a lot about love, marriage, and adultury, did Bill Clinton really cheat on his wife, with Monica Lewinsky?” “Yes, but he didn’t mean to.” “That f**king a**hole!” “Hey, don’t speak about your father like that!”
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Ten Dollahs
Stumpy Grider and his wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy said, “Ya know Mahtha, ah’d like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane.” And every year Martha would say, “Ah know, Stumpy, but that aihplane ride costs ten dollahs…and ten dollahs is ten dollahs.” So Stumpy says, “By Jeebers Mahtha, I’m 71 yeahs old, if I don’t go this time I may nevah go.” Martha replies, “Stumpy,…
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Back of the Shed (Limerick)
I took Sally out back of the shed. “I’ve something to show you,” I said. She said, “Oh! What a sight! I know looking’s not right. I’ve a place we can hide it instead.”
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68 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…
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