Smart man Jokes - page 7

100 Blonde Jokes!

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…

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3 Men and a Genie

Three men were walking through an alley when they spotted a genie lamp. They rubbed it vigorously to see what would happen. The genie came out and said, “I am the Genie of the lamp. Since there are three of you, you will each have one wish.” They all thought long and hard then the first guy said, “I want to be 10% smarter.” *POOF* he’s 10% smarter. Well the second guy wanted to top the first. He wanted to…

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bad mother fucker from down the street.

One day this lady bought her son a radio for 500 dollars. The lady told her son not to take it outside because somebody might take it. He said, “No one’s going to take it.” His mom said, “If they do, tell them you’re the bad mother fucker from down the street, and you’ll kick their ass from street to street.” So he was walking in Chicago and some gang bangers were in the park. They said: “Hey boy, let…

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Good Dog

A butcher was about to close up shop one night when a dog walked in, carrying a paper bag in its mouth. The butcher tried to shoo the dog away, but it wouldn’t leave. Instead it set the bag down and barked at it. So the butcher looked inside of the bag, and found some money and a note. The note said: 1 lb Italian sausage 2 lbs Pork chops So the butcher filled the order, made change for the…

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Cynic’s Dictionary

ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION: Procreation without recreation. BOOKCASE: A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and Elvis collectibles. BULIMIA: Retched excess. CHIC: Considered smart without the deadening implication of intelligence. CLIQUE: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses. CONSULTANT: A jobless person who shows executives how to work. DENTURES: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one’s grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music. DNA:…

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Intelligent Hunting Dog

A farmer was down on his luck having suffered a bad growing season, lack of crops and poor prices. To make ends meet he decided he’d have to sell his dog – a most intelligent animal. A few days after placing the ad, a man came to see this “intelligent” dog. When asked what the dog could do, the farmer pointed to a stand of trees nearby and informed the man there was a pond on the other side. He…

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Dwarf

A man sees a dwarf drowning in the sea. The man is feeling sorry for the little guy and decides to help him. When the man rescued the dwarf, the little dwarf is glad and offers the man a wish. “I want a bridge from France to America, so I can walk to Europe and back” The dwarf laughs. “Sorry, I’m no God. Think of something less difficult. The man thinks and then says: “I would like a smart blonde…

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