Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Dear Friends, This letter is being sent to you for I know that you are certainly interested in your lawn. The spring season is about to arrive, and it is time to act if you want a truly spectacular lawn this summer. This is a fertilizer chain letter. It will cost you nothing. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address of the person on the top of this list and shit on their front lawn. You will not…
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A woman in a furniture store had her eye on a really nice sofa she thought would look great in her den. She said to the salesman, “I really like this sofa but my husband will probably think it costs too much”. The salesman replied, “But you only make a small payment down and then don’t make any payments for six months.” The woman immediately responded, “Who told you about us?”
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10. Her sweatshirts all say “PineSol Just Do it” 9.Kitchen utensils used by Mayo Clinic 8.When you walk through house she follows you like member of Olympic Curling Team 7. Likes to wear same outfit worn by Dustin Hoffman in “Outbreak” 6. Bathroom mirror could be used as lens in Hubble Space Telescope 5. Uses broomsticks for firewood 4. dog’s name is “Ajax” 3. Guest room is used Apollo astronaut quarantine chamber 2. Garage is car wash And the number…
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It was past lunchtime when a man with a cane entered a small diner. When the diner owner handed him the menu, the customer said to the owner, “I’m sorry I can’t read your menu. I’m blind.” The owner apologized and asked what the customer wanted to eat. The blind man said, “Could me bring me a used spoon? I could tell what your special for the day is just by smelling the spoon.” Although the diner owner was skeptical…
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Mess Test :Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fishstick behind the TV and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Buy a 55-gallon drum of Lego. (If Lego’s are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks.) Have a friend spread them all over the house and stairways. Put on a blindfold and remove your shoes and socks. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream, as this could wake the child at night.…
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Men think computers should be referred to as females, just like ships, because: 1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic. 2. The language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. The message “Bad command or file name” is about as informative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, I’m certainly not going to tell you.” 4. Your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval. 5.…
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Top 39 things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say ever, no matter how much they’ve had to drink, no matter how far from the South they’ve wandered and no matter how much the skunks are threatening… ****************************************************** 39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won’t fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken. 35. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody…
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Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading, “Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology.” The town fathers were not too happy with the sign, and they proposed “Hysterias and Posteriors.” The doctors didn’t find it acceptable, so they suggested “Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.” The town didn’t like that either and countered with “Catatonics and High Colonics.” Thumbs down again. By now the story was in the papers, and suggestions began rolling in: “Manic-depressives…
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Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastor’s son, replied, “That’s nothin’. My dad owns hell.” “No way!” another boy scoffed. “How can a man own hell?” “Sure he can,” the preacher’s son said. “My mom told my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to him last night.”
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Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, “You seem like nice young men, and I’d like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I’ll see you back in court Monday.” Monday, the two guys were in…
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