Slide down Jokes

beam me down

Pierre and Thibadox were workin on the roof. It got dark and the ladder fell down. Pierre asked Thibadox how they were gonna get down. Thibadox said, “I am gonna take this flashlight and shine it to the ground and you slide down the beam.” Pierre said, “No, you’re gonna turn it off when I get halfway down.”

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If Men Ran the World…

Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…

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If Men Truly Ran the World…

If Men TRULY ran the world: 1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day too. 5.…

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If Men Ruled the World……

Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a timeout. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. The…

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Fire fighting

A fireman came from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we’re ready to go on the trucks.” “From now on,” he said, “we’re going to run this house the same way: When I say Bell 1, I want you to strip naked. When I…

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4 bells

Fireman comes home from work talking about the new system they have a work. 1 Bell, put on their clothes, 2 Bells, slide down the pole, 3 Bells, Jump on the truck and ride to the Fire. The wife says, “That sounds good, why don’t we set up something at home?” They do. The next day he comes home and decides to try the system. 1 Bell, they jump out of their clothes, 2 Bells, they jump in the bed,…

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You got fucked

This guy walked into a bar a nude bar he sat down at the counter and told the bartender he wanted to get fucked. This guy was 30 years old and still a virgin, pretty damn pathetic if you ask me. Anyway this man was somewhat desperate. So he asks the bartender where he could go to get fucked. The bartender pauses for a moment (seeing how desprate this guy is) and he gives the guy an address to go…

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Over 50 Ways to get rid of Blind Dates

1.At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2.Collect the salt shakers from all of the tables in the restaurant, and balance them in a tower on your table. 3.Wipe your nose on your date’s sleeve. Twice. 4.Make funny faces at other patrons, then sneer at their reactions. 5.Repeat every third third word you say say. 6.Give your claim to fame…

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Billy the Clint

Billy The Clint. Remake of and inspired by one of the previous JOWs called “Billy the Kid” Young Billy wanted to be the best, quickest lover in the World, and when he spotted Casanova having a beer in a bar, he asked if he could have a word with him. “Sure, son, what’s on your mind?” asks Giacomo, looking up at the young man. “Sir, I want to be the best and quickest lover there is, and I’d be in…

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Adam and Eve– The poem

In the garden of eden, As everyone knows, Lives Adam and Eve without any clothes. In this garden, were 2 little leaves, One covered Adam’s and One covered Eve’s. As the story goes on Nevertheless to say, The wind came along And blew the leaves away. At the sight Adam did stare There was Eves treasure All covered with hair. And wonder came, under Eves eyes, as Adam’s thing started to rise. They found a spot, that suited them best,…

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