Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jason was a strapping handsome seventeen-year-old guy who was short-changed in the brains and equipment departments. His sister Tracy was sixteen and lacked nothing in either department, so he depended on her for advice. One day in the kitchen when the rest of the family was still asleep, he said to her, “I was at the beach yesterday and I got the feeling that a lot of girls were whispering and giggling about me. Why would they do that?” “Well,…
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One day a guy was driving in his car when it broke down. He saw a house and it was raining so he decided to ask if he could stay for the night. So he knocked on the door and a grandma came to the door and he asked if he could stay the night. The Grandma said yes and took him to a room. This room had clothes hanging down and it scratched and tickled his face, so he…
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Ron and Elaine had been married ten years, had no children, and were beginning to drift apart. Elaine told her mother one day that she thought her marriage was in trouble. “For God’s sake, Elaine”, said her mother, “you and Ron have to see a marriage counselor. Ron’s a wonderful guy, and you’ll never find anyone who’d be as good to you as he is.” So Elaine phoned her cousin Harriet, who’d been through marriage troubles herself, to get the…
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I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M’s (sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people, celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is “MM” in Roman numerals), when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there’s no actual chicken in…
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In one of his autobiographical works, English author Augustus John Cuthbert Hare described the experience of a certain lady who awoke in the middle of the night with the sense that someone else was in her room. The sound of footsteps going to and fro across the room and the impression of hands moving over the bed terrified the poor lady so much that she fainted. Only when morning came was it discovered that the butler had walked in his…
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Two little kids in a hospital who were laying next to each other. The first kid leans over and asks “What are you in here for?” The second kid says “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid says “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It’s…
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An Irishman named Murphy went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked Murphy in the eye and said, “I’ve some bad new for you … you have the cancer and it can’t be cured. I’d give you two weeks to a month.” Murphy shocked and saddened by the news, but of solid character, managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor’s office into the waiting room. There he saw his…
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A man went to his doctor seeking help for his terrible addiction to cigars. The doctor was quite familiar with his very compulsive patient, so recommended an unusual and quite drastic form of aversion therapy. “When you go to bed tonight, take one of your cigars, unwrap it, and stick it completely up your asshole. Then remove it, rewrap it, and place it back with all the others in such a fasion as you can’t tell which one it is.…
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I have found the following things about dogs: They are territorial: “If it smells like me, it’s mine!” “If it even looks like mine–it’s mine!” They are possessive: “If I put it in my mouth, it’s mine!” “If I tear it into a million tiny pieces, all million pieces are mine!” They have no concept of privacy: they will urinate right in front of you without embarrassment. They will urinate in the great outdoors without shame. They will eat anything.…
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Two little boys were in the hospital. The first kid leaned over and asked, “What are you in here for?” The second kid said, “I’m here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.” The first kid said, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done to me once. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of jell-o and ice cream. It’s a piece of cake!” The second kid…
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