Single one Jokes - page 6

Weathering the Storm

Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he’d been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application…

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Dating Vs Marriage

When you are dating….. Farting is never an issue. When you are married ….You make sure there’s nothing flammable near your husband at all times. When you are dating….. He takes you out to have a good time. When you are married ….He brings home a 6 pack, and says “What are you going to drink?” When you are dating….. He holds your hand in public. When you are married ….He flicks your ear in public. When you are dating…..…

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I Can’t Believe They Said That!

Dan Quayle: “potatoe” A Massachusetts politician was accused of attacking and cursing another politician during a local meeting. The first politician was quoted in the local paper, “I did not attack anyone or say a single cuss word, and anyone who says I did is a damn liar.” Bill Clinton in 1992: “I will have the most ethical administration in the nation’s history.” Romanian minister on homosexuality: “We can’t legalize homosexuality. Half of the country will become homosexuals.” Bill Clinton…

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3 Coded Messages for Mrs. Smith

Mrs. Smith has three daughters who are all getting married within the same month. She tells each one of her daughters to write back about their married life. To avoid possible embarrassment to their new husbands by openly discussing their love lives, the mother and daughters agree to using newspaper advertisements as a “code” to let the mother know how their love lives are going. The first one gets married and the second day a telegram arrives with a single…

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Gender Differences

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item that he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future … until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. To be happy with a man,…

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DATING DICTIONARY

DATING: The process of spending enormous amounts of time, money, and effort to get better acquainted with a person whom you don’t especially like at present and will learn to lake a lot less in the future. EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man. EYE CONTACT: A method utilized by a single woman to communicate to a man that she is interested in him. Despite being advised to do so, many women…

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By his side.

Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his faithful wife stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by…

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The Frog Prince …… (revised even further)

A sad lonely Princess was walking through the forest contemplating her life when she suddenly stumbled upon a frog. After a few initial looks she scanned the woods to make sure that no one would see and leaning down she gave the frog a single kiss on the head. To her surprise a flash and a cloud of white smoke revealed the most handsome Prince she had ever laid her eyes on. Falling to her knees she implored the Prince,…

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Read JokeThe Frog Prince …… (revised even further)

New Earring

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing a single earring. This man knows his co-worker is normally a pretty conservative fellow, and he is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings now.” “Don’t make such a big deal of it. It’s only an earring!” he replies sheepishly. “So? How long have you been wearing one?” “Ever…

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Little Known Facts

Did you know that.. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white. The names of all the continents start with the same letter that they end with. If the population of China walked past you in…

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