Sid Jokes - page 3

Considerate Bus Driver

A woman carrying a baby got on a bus and after paying the fare, took a seat behind the bus driver. Later on, a drunken man got on the same bus and after paying his fare, took a seat beside the woman carrying a baby. Since they were the only passengers on the bus, the drunk tried to strike up a conversation with the woman who tried her best to ignore him. Then the drunk took one look at the…

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Ben & Jerry’s Presidential flavours

Ben & Jerry’s new presidential flavors: THE FLAVORS Double Nut Joy Impeach-Mint Subpoenas ‘n’ Cream Chubby Cheatin’ Hubby Candy Pants Chilly Hillbilly Pants-offio Pistachio Horny Bubba Crunch Arkansas Peach Subpoena Butter Cup Peppermint Fatty Captain Cream Tubby Bubba Hillary Chiller Fundraising Coffee Oval Office Surprise Arkansas Smoothie Subpoena Colada Hyperactive Nuts Scandalberry

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Insider’s Guide To The Male Vocabulary

“Haven’t I seen you before?” (“Nice ass!”) “I’m a Romantic.” (“I haven’t got a dime.”) “I need you.” (“My hand is tired.”) “I am different from all the other guys.” (“I’m not circumcised.”) “I want a commitment.” (“I’m sick of masturbation.”) “You’re the only girl I’ve ever cared about.” (“You are the only girl who hasn’t rejected me.”) “I really want to get to know you better.” (“So I can tell my friends about it.”) “It’s just orange juice, try…

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Considering All Possibilities

Dancer Isadora Duncan once suggested to Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw that eugenics indicated they should have a child together. “Think of it! With my body and your brains, what a wonder it would be,” she said. Shaw replied, “Yes, but what if it had my body and your brains?”

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The Up Side of Y2K

January 1, 2000 Re: Vacation Pay Dear Valued Employee: Our records indicate that you have not used any vacation time over the past 100 year(s). As I`m sure you are aware, employees are granted 3 weeks of paid leave per year or pay in lieu of time off. One additional week is granted for every 5 years of service. Please either take 9,400 days off work or notify our office and your next paycheck will reflect payment of $8,277,432.22 which…

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three presidents

what is the difference between George Washington, Richard Nixon, Bill clinton??? A; George washington could never tell a lie, Richard Nixon could never tell the truth, Bill Clinton can never tell the difference!!!!

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The Lighter Side of Room Service

This telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room service at a hotel in Asia was recorded and then published in the Far East Economic Review : Room Service: “Morny. Ruin sorbees.” Guest: “Sorry, I thought I dialed room service.” Room Service: “Rye… Ruin sorbees… morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??” Guest: “Uh… yes… This is Room 203. I’d like some bacon and eggs.” Room Service: “Ow July den?” Guest: “What??” Room Service: “Ow July den?… Pry, boy, pooch?” Guest: “Oh,…

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The Lord’s on my Side

An elderly couple goes for their annual physical. The man is checked out first and the Dr. replies, “Mr. Smith you’re in remarkable health for a man your age.” “I’m not surprised,” answers Mr. Smith, “I’ve got the Lord on my side.” “How do you mean,” asks the doc, beginning to wonder about senility. “Well just last night,” begins the old guy, “I had to pee in the middle of the night and the Lord turned on the bathroom light…

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By his side.

Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his faithful wife stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by…

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