Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for some important guests. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for the dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket to gather some snails. Very grudgingly, he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to…
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Two elderly gentleman are sitting on the porch, just rockin’ and taking in the day. First man asks: “Tell me John, I am curious, have you been gettin’ a little on the side?” John looks a bit puzzled and responds: “To tell you the truth, it’s been so damn long, I didn’t even know they moved it…”
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Weddings: A Jewish father, Moishe, was beset by his eldest son Yitzak… “Father, I am going to marry!” His father begins to dance with joy and sing Hava Naghila… “Tell me, is she a good Jewish girl?” says the father.. “What is her name?” “O’Brien,” replies the son. “She’s Catholic…” “Oy!” says the father. “But are you happy?” “I’m happy,” says the son. “Ok…as long as you’re happy….my blessings to you both,” replies Moishe. But the father is still counting…
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There was this truckie talking to his boss about the new truck that had arrived and the boss was telling the truckie to take it to depot 1 which was over the other side of the city, telling the truckie, “Look mate, this is a brand new truck. I want you to take it over to depot one and if you get into any trouble in the least, call me and I’ll sort it out.” So off the truckie goes…
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Use a calculator for this joke. A doctor says to a woman, “You have a sixty-nine inch bustline. (Type 69) That’s too, too, too large. (Enter 222 after 69.) I’m giving you these pills. You have to take them 5 times a day (Enter 51 after 69222) for the next 8 days. (Multiply 6922251 by 8) Press , then flip the calculator upside-down for the effects of the pills!
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Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife’s bedside table that said, “Wake me at six.” An exasperated Mr. Smith woke at ten the next morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: “It’s six, you bum! Get out of bed!”
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1. Every time someone calls for a price check, start gobbling like a turkey and run up and down the aisle you’re in until someone asks you what’s wrong. When this happens, walk away passively, cursing under your breath that people are so weird these days. 2. When greeted with a friendly “hello” from your bag-boy, reply, repeating loudly: “No, my name’s not Fred!” while spinning around violently for 30 seconds straight. Try to walk out of the store in…
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You measure distance in minutes. Weather is 80% of your conversation. “Down south” to you means Iowa. Snow tires came standard on your car. You have no concept of public transportation. 75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of Minnesota. You know more than 1 person that has hit a deer. People from other states love to hear you say words with O’s in them. You know what and where Dinkytown is. You have no problem…
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Reasons to Love Men 1. They’ve got that comfortable place on their shoulder that’s perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. 2. They’re at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. 3. They’re enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we’re not. 4. They’re beyond enthusiastic about sex. 5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. 6. Chest hair, forearm hair and the feel of a newly shaved cheek.…
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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock. Here is one of those stories. As he tells it, he was waiting at a taxi-stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he put his suitcase in it and got in himself. As he was about to tell the taxi-driver where he wanted to go, the driver asked him: “Where…
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