Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy gets set up on a blind date, and he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurant to make a good impression. The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order. The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu–shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar salad, lobster, crepes suzette–with no regard to the prices. The guy is getting very upset, as he never thought she would order so much. She then stops and looks across at…
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A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, “You say you’ve been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem?” The wife replies, “It’s my husband — he’s driving me crazy! I’m going to leave him if he continues!” “How does he drive you crazy?” “For 20 years,” she says, “he’s been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, he’s always looking at the…
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Medical Student I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation she happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat…
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A young gay man calls up his mother to tell her that he is giving up being gay as he has met the woman who, he believes, is his soul mate. In fact he says, “We are so much in love that we plan to get married next month! That’s why I called you. I’m sure you will be happy to know that I have turned my back on the gay lifestyle.” “I am very happy indeed,” says his mother.…
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Yo Mama so fat, she plays basketball like this: Through the Big Dipper — nothing but net. Yo Mama so hairy, when you were born you popped out with CARPET-BURNS. Yo Mama so old, when God said let there be light, she threw the firecracker.
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There was an old miser who was close to death. While on his deathbed, he gathered his family around to tell them his last requests. “I want one of you to take all my money and put it in a box in the attic. That way, when I die, I can take it to heaven with me.” A couple of days later, the miser died. After the funeral, the family once again gathered at the house. The widow went up…
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A young lady had just visited her doctor, and he informed her that she was pregnant. The young lady had been married for ten years and had wanted a baby very badly. As she sat on the bus, on her way home, she felt that she had to share her good news with someone. The farmer sitting next to her seemed as good as anyone to share the good news with. “Sir,” she said, “I just received the best news…
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A Frenchman, an Italian and an American are heading off to war when the Frenchman bragged that he made love to his wife 3 times last night to say goodbye. “Yeah, well I made love to my wife 6 times last night to say goodbye to her,” the Italian boasted. “What about you, Mr. American?” asked the Frenchman. “I only made love to my wife once last night.” “Is that all? What did she say this morning ?” “Don’t stop!”
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One morning a young 3 year old boy sat at the kitchen table in front of a bowl of cereal, thinking. When his mother noticed his thoughtful expression she thought it better not to disturb him. Later that afternoon the boy was still sitting there with a very concentrated expression. His mother was then curious but then decided just to leave him there. That night at dinner, he was still sitting at the table, chin in hand, with great thought…
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One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again…
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