Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man takes his duck to a movie one day. So when he goes up to the counter to buy a ticket the lady says, “I’m sorry sir we don’t allow pets in the theater.” So the man goes behind the theater and sticks the duck in his pants. When he gets into the movie and sits down the duck starts moving around. So the guy undoes his pants and lets the duck’s head stick out. Then an old lady…
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Hillary Clinton is not feeling well. She goes to her doctor and gets a complete physical, only to discover that she is pregnant. She is furious and can’t believe this has happened, when she is running for the Senate, too!!! She calls the White House and gets Bill on the phone and immediately begins to berate him, screaming, “I just found out I’m 5 weeks PREGNANT, and it is all YOUR fault!!! How could you have let this HAPPEN? With…
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After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one. The guy…
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The confirmed bachelor decided to marry his long-time girlfriend. “I have to warn you however,” said he, “that on Mondays I play bridge, on Tuesdays I work seminar, on Wednesdays I go to the gym, on Thursdays I play indoor soccer, on Fridays I go out with the boys from work, and on Saturdays I go to the rugby with my mates, but on Sundays I’m all yours.” “That’s fine,” she said. “Just as long as you realise that I…
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A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full-length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small. Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every…
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*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…
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A man walked in to Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks “What’s up?” The man proceeds to explain he’s taking a vacation to Rome. “ROME?!” Joe says, “Why would you want to go there? It’s a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You’d be crazy to go to Rome! So how ya getting there?” “We’re taking TWA,” the man replies. “TWA?!” yells Joe. “They’re a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight…
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A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist. She says, “I’m on the road a lot, and my friends are complaining that they can never reach me.” “Don’t you have a phone in your car?” the psychiatrist asks. “That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.” Puzzled, he asks, “Uh … How’s that working?” “Actually, I haven’t gotten any letters yet,” the blonde responded. “And why do you think…
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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too far, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for awhile, but then smiled and said, “It really works!”
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There was this old couple getting ready to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. The old man went out shopping to find a really nice present for his wife. When he returned home, he found his wife standing on her head naked. For the life of him, he could not figure out what in the hell she was doing , so he asked,”Honey…what in God’s name are you doing naked ,standing on your head??” “Well dear,” she replied, “it is our…
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