She s all that Jokes - page 144

New Rooster

A farmer had 250 hens he wanted to mate, but his rooster was old and he needed a new one. He went to see his neighbor, and after some haggling over the price, which he thought was too high, he took home a young rooster. When he got back to the farm, he told the rooster that he could take his time, because he had no competition, and he should enjoy himself. He turned him loose in the hen house…

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Bedroom Surprises

A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on. One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love and saw that he was using a dildo. She said, “Honey, is this what you’ve been using all this time? How could you…

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The Grasshopper & The Ant (Updated)

Classic Version – The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he?s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold. Modern Version – the ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and…

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Follow that Plow!

It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her daddy’s advice that if she ever got caught in a blizzard, she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it.…

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3 Nuns

There were these three nuns and they were trying to get into heaven. So God appeared and said, “Answer this question correctly, and I’ll let you in.” So he asked the first nun, “Who was the first man on earth?” The nun said, “Adam” So God said, “Bamm! You’re in heaven.” So he asked the second nun, “Who was the first woman on earth?” And she said, “Eve!” So God said, “Bamm! You’re in heaven.” Finally it was the third…

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Reverse Psychology

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for awhile?” She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I WON’T sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and…

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Y to K

Blonde secretary’s memo to her boss: To: My Boss From: Blondie Subject: Changing calenders from Y2K I hope that I haven’t misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. Atany rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new months: Januark Februark…

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Buying Furniture

A woman in a furniture store had her eye on a really nice sofa she thought would look great in her den. She said to the salesman, “I really like this sofa but my husband will probably think it costs too much”. The salesman replied, “But you only make a small payment down and then don’t make any payments for six months.” The woman immediately responded, “Who told you about us?”

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The Genie & the Neighbor

There was this guy who found a lamp… yeah you know, he rubs it, a genie comes out, tells him he has three wishes….but you see, this genie said that whatever he wished for, his worst enemy would get twice that. (If he wished for a million dollars, his enemy would get two million) Well, the man’s enemy was his neighbor, Bill. So when the guy wished for a hundred beautiful women, Bill, of course, got two hundred women, even…

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