Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman, who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his beard which is full and bushy. “Are you the landlord?” she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. “Actually, no” he replies. “Can you get him for me? I need…
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President Franklin D. Roosevelt found the polite small talk of social functions at the White House somewhat tedious. He maintained that those present on such occasions rarely paid much attention to what was said to them. To illustrate the point, he would sometimes amuse himself by greeting guests with the words, “I murdered my grandmother this morning.” The response was invariably one of polite approval. On one occasion, however, the president happened upon an attentive listener. On hearing Roosevelt’s outrageous…
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Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. She called to remind the people at the clerk’s office that she was exempt because of her age. “You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms,” they said. “I’ve already done that,” she replied. “I did it last year.” “You have to do it every year,” she was told. “Why?” came the response. “Do you think I’m going to get younger?”
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This poem was written by Mary C. Johnson age 93 of Southfield Nursing home, for a thanks to a doctor that saved her from a disease. The sun was shining brightly, And I could hardly wait, To raise my breakfast window, And gaze upon God’s estate. The breeze was blowing gently, And it brushed the flowers away, All the nature was enchanting, Upon this lovely day. My eyes fell upon a little bird, With a tender yellow bill, Who was…
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were all in the 5th grade. Which girl had the biggest tits? The blonde. (She was 18).
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A Junior High School in Memphis, Tennessee sponsored a luncheon for the residents of a senior citizens home. The principal of the school received the following Thank You note. * * * Dear Reyer School: God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens’ luncheon. I’m 94 years old and live at the Memphis County Home for the Aged. My family has long since passed away and I rarely have visitors. As a result, I…
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A middle-aged woman took her three-year-old granddaughter, Molly, out for ice cream. She asked Molly what she wanted. Molly said, “I want banilla!” The woman said, “Honey, it’s *V*anilla. V–not B.” Molly tried saying it again, but it came out VaBanilla. After some more coaxing, Molly finally said, “Vvvvvanilla!” The woman said, “YES! Now, tell me again–what kind of ice cream do you want?” Molly said, “I think I want chocolate.”
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Coming on board the Boeing 747 for the first time in her life, the young blonde can hardly contain her excitement and nervousness at riding a jumbo jet for the very first time. In fact, she is so giddy with excitement that she can barely contain herself. To release tension caused by her nervousness, she starts running up and down the aisle from seat to seat, happily chanting in a very loud voice, “BOEING! BOEING! BOEING! BOEING!” Hearing the ruckus…
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Possible Titles for Lewinsky’s New Book: I Suck At My Job What Really Goes Down In The White House : How I Blew It In Washington You Have to Work Hard to Find the Softer Side of the President Testing the Limits of the Gag Rule Going Back for Gore Secret Services to the President Harass is Not Two Words: The Story of Bill Clinton Deep Inside The Oval Office The Congressional Study on White House Intern Positions She’s Chief…
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Dear Abby, I’ve been going out with this girl for a couple of weeks now, I really like her and want to take the relationship to the next level. I have one problem though. On our first date she told me she was sick, but I can’t remember if she said she had TB or VD. What should I do? – Lovelorn, Portland, OR Dear Lovelorn: If she coughs, fuck her.
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