Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This American golf fanatic always dreamed of playing at St. Andrews, and finally got the chance. Going with his wife, they teed off andhe proceeded to play the best game of his life. After 9 holes, he was 5 strokes under par,and was on cloud nine. On the back nine, he started playing even better,even getting an Eagle on the 16th hole. He was so excited that he ended up slicing the shot on the 17th tee,and as he walked…
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…
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10. Your car can actually go airborn when driving over hills at high speeds. 9. Never flip off the elderly, they may have heart conditions. 8. If you see a pedestrian crossing the road, do not speed up and take bets on whether they will make it or if they will have to run back. 7. If you have little kids in the car and you see a rabbit hopping across the road, do not speed up and say “wow…
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A man, in a hurry taking his eight-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. “Uh-oh, I just made an illegal turn!” the man said. “Aw, Dad, it’s okay,” his son said. “The police car right behind us did the same thing.”
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.” “Very good, Suzie,” replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said. “Excellent, Michael!” Then, the…
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“What’s the difference between the North American porcupine and the African porcupine?” the society matron asked the zookeeper. “The principal difference is the North American species has a longer prick.” This, as you might suspect, distressed the prim and proper matron who stormed immediately to the zoo manager’s office to protest. The zoo manager said, “Ma’am, I do apologize for my staff’s uncouth choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is that the North American species has a…
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After tucking their three-year-old son, Sammy, into bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying, hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny, and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, an an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy’s ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash,…
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Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon, Dr. Michael DeBakey, standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager. Morris, one of those loud mouths, shouted across the garage, “Hey, DeBakey…Is dat you? Come over here a minute.” The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris was working on a car. Morris in a loud voice, so all could hear, said argumentatively, “So, Mr.…
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What does your profession say about you? ======================================= 1. MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. 2. SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree.” You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like…
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A little fella walks into a bar. Unfortunately there is a pile of dog shit just inside the door, and he slips in it and falls over. He gets up, cleans himself up and walks to the bar and buys a drink. A great big man then enters the bar. He slips in the same pile of shit, falls, gets up, cleans up and buys a drink. The little guy turns to the big guy and, trying to strike up…
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