Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
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At a bridal shower, every guest was asked to introduce herself and explain how she met Kimberly, the bride-to-be. “I met Kimberly while dating her brother Bob,” the first young woman said. The second girl gave the same answer. The third woman said she was Bob’s current girlfriend. An older woman that was sitting next promptly said. “It’s nice to meet all of you,” she announced with a grin. “But I think I’d really rather meet Bob.”
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Q: Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, the perfect woman & the perfect man all stop at the same time at an intersection. Who goes first? A: -The perfect woman. The other three don’t exist.
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An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit, when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again–even more slowly. Another flash! He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. “This guy must have screwed up the settings,” the off-duty officer thought. He planned to mention the…
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1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. – Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. – Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. – Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. – Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. – Robert, 13 6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. – Noronha, 13 7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells…
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A Navy Admiral, a Marine General and an Army General were having some drinks at the officer’s club in a major military base. After a few rounds of iced tea, the Navy Admiral boasted, “You know, the Navy has the bravest fighting men ever to serve in the Armed Forces. I can prove it to you all.” Before the others could protest, the Admiral proceeded to phone his headquarter and asked for the best Navy Seal in his command to…
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A fancy lady on vacation took a stroll through the woods. Suddenly a little white duck, all covered with crap, crossed her path. “Oh, dear,” exclaimed the lady, “Come on, I’ll clean you!” She took a Kleenex from her purse and did a good cleaning. She walked on a little farther and another duck, with crap all over it, crossed her way. Again she took a Kleenex and cleaned the little bird. Then she encountered a third duck, with the…
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Bill buys a parrot for his family in the White House one day. So they go on a vacation and Bill tells the secret service to keep good care of it. While away the bird dies, so the secret service go in and out of every pet shop looking for a new parrot. One agent goes into a pet shop and sees the same exact bird. Markings and everything. So he goes to the owner and says, “Sir, I need…
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It’s more than obvious: The high technology of the information age isn’t for everyone. Consider the man standing by the office fax machine and scratching his head when a co-worker walks by. “Do you know anything about this fax machine?” the puzzled fellow asks. “A little. What’s wrong?” “Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.” “How did you load…
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If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can get going without pep pills, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches & pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on…
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