Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…
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A woman with very hairy armpits walks into a bar and sits down at a table in a dimly lit corner. She raises her hand to order a drink, and a drunken man at the bar says, rather loudly, to the bartender, “I’ll buy the drink for that ballerina!” The bartender, rather confused by the ballerina comment, complies, and brings the woman a free drink. A short while later, the woman with the hairy armpits raises her hand again to…
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Two Priests died and met at the Pearly Gates at the same time. The computer was down, so St. Peter asked them if they would hang out on earth for a week as anything they wanted. They both agreed. The first priest asked to be an eagle for a week. “So be it,” said St. Peter and off the priest went. The second priest asked to if he could be a “Stud” for a week, and St. Peter once again…
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Once a teacher walks into class and says, “Today we are going to be talking about meanings of positive and negative words together in different languages.” So he says, “For example, you can put a negative and a negative together in Russian and it will mean a negative. The same can be done in English, or you can put a positive and a negative and mean a negative like ‘of course not’.” Then the professor remarked, “But never can you…
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If Men TRULY ran the world: 1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day too. 5.…
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*************************************** IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp Winter’s afternoon, and you’re exactly where you should be: stretched out on the sofa in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your wife enters the room and says, “What exactly do you think you’re doing?” Is this a trick question? Yes, it is. The…
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Q: Christopher Hogwood, Daniel Barenboim and Neville Mariner are all on the same plane when it ditches in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Who is saved? A: Mozart
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Three buddies from the plant take their wives to Las Vegas for a week’s vacation. The guys take in all the strip shows while the wives play in the casinos, and they all have a wonderful time. When they get home, the guys meet in the plant cafeteria for coffee on Monday morning. Jack says “I been up all night. Brenda kept yelling ‘7 come 11’ in her sleep.” “Same here” says Bob. “Nancy was dreaming about blackjack and kept…
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One night a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she had heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1 1/2 hours later with a black eye. “Did you get hit by the same person?” his captain asked. “No,” he replied. “I stepped on the…
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A woman in a bar was picked up by Dennis Rodman, the famous basketball player known for the wildly changing colour and style of his hair. They liked each other and the woman went back with him to his hotel room. He removed his shirt revealing all of his tattoos and she saw, on his right arm was a tattoo that said, “Reebok”. She thought that it was a bit odd and asked him about it. Rodman responded, “When I…
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