S line Jokes - page 8

Bingo! Tyneside Hall Swaps Number Calls for Bass Drops as It Becomes Unexpected Rave Hotspot

Bingo! Tyneside Hall Swaps Number Calls for Bass Drops as It Becomes Unexpected Rave Hotspot. Who knew that the pursuit of “full house” could evolve into an entirely different kind of pursuit involving flashing lights and thumping bass? ? In a plot twist no one saw coming, the King Street Social Club in North Shields, once a bastion of hushed numbers and dabbers, has undergone a radical transformation. Forget your grandma’s weekly outing; it’s now a bonafide mecca for ravers!…

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The new Hillary

Monica: “Did you hear that Hillary changed her name since Bill decided to confess his affairs?” Pauline: “No, What did she change it to?” Monica: Sharon Peters! (sharing peters)

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“Wanted”

A tall well-built woman with good reputation, who can cook frog legs,who appreciates a good fuc- schia garden,classic music and tal- king without getting too serious. But please read only lines 1,3,5!

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A Redneck MaMa’s Letter to her Son

Dear Son: Just a few lines to let you know I’m still alive. I will write this letter slowly because I know you can’t read fast. First the big news…your Dad heard that most accidents happen close to home so we moved. You won’t know the house when you come home as I can’t send you the address because the last redneck family that lived here took the house numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.…

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St. Peter and the HMO Executive

A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO have died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter speaks with them and asks them what good they have done in their lives. The doctor says, “I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for and healing thousands of people. St. Peter replies, “That’s great. Go ahead into heaven. And what about you?” The nurse states,…

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Pardon Me!

A flat-chested blonde wanted to have her breasts enlarged but she did not want to undergo surgery. So she consulted a witch doctor who gave her a pill to swallow. After swallowing the pill, the blonde was told by the witch doctor that what she had swallowed was a magic pill. Everytime a man would say the word ‘pardon’ to her, her breasts would grow an inch bigger. After leaving the office of the witch doctor, the blonde bumped into…

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Old Ladies can be Cruel!

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who I haven’t seen in a long time.”…

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Company Slogans

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. “Joe,” he asked, “which company has the slogan, ‘Come fly the friendly skies’?” Joe answered with the correct airline. “Brenda, can you tell us which company has the slogan, ‘Don’t leave home without it’?” Brenda answered with the correct credit card company with no difficulty. “Now, John, tell us which company bears the slogan, ‘Just do it!’?” John answered,…

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