S line Jokes - page 34

Motel 6 Slogans

The Top 16 Rejected Motel 6 Slogans 16 We’re working on that smell thing, too. 15 Because you deserve better than the backseat of some car. 14 As seen on “COPS” 13 If we’d known you were staying all night, we’d have changed the sheets. 12 Not just for nooners anymore. 11 We left off the 9, but you know it’s there. 10 You rented the room, now buy the video. 9 Sure, you could stay someplace nicer, but then…

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Chainsaw

This fellow is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various models. The dealer tells him, “Look, I have lots of models, but why don’t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. You can’t go wrong with this chainsaw, and it will cut a hundred cords of wood for you in one day. So, the man takes…

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Army Ranger Training

An Army Ranger Instructor was training a new class of recruits in the field. They finished the day of exercises by a river and camped for the night. The next morning the instructor woke up and went to the river to relieve himself. While doing his business an alligator came out of the water and snapped its mouth down on the instructor’s penis. Finding himself in intense pain, he wanted to scream, but did not want to show any sings…

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Observation

Today’s woman puts on wigs, fake eyelashes, false fingernails, sixteen pounds of assorted make-up/shadows/blushes/creams, living bras, various pads that would make a linebacker envious, has implants and assorted other surgeries, then complains that she cannot find a “real” man.

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Signs You are Addicted to Wrestling

You light your bed on fire and fight your brother in it. Your teacher gives you detention, so you give him a Stone Cold Stunner and walk out of class, flashing your middle fingers. You leapfrog over people while playing football, then you turn around and clothesline them. You publish a shirt that says ‘Jay Leno 1-0 Who’s Next.’ Every time you sit down at a table you consider how easily it might break if you were to moonsault onto…

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A Programmer & A Engineer

A Programmer and an Engineer A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun.…

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New Car

There was this guy named Joe. Ever since he was born, he has always been 2nd at everything. His baby stroller was always slower than the other kids’, his tricycle was old and rusted and had wobbly wheels, his first bike was a piece of junk, his first car wouldn’t go over 35 m.p.h. So Joe resigned himself to a life of slowness, never able to win a race in his life. Until one day, when his rich uncle died…

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A Hacker’s Version of ‘Let It Be”

Sing this to the tune of the Beatles’ “Let It Be” : When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: Write in C. As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers: Write in C. Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, oh, Write in C. LOGO’s dead and buried, Write in C. I used to write a lot of…

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Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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