Ruth ruth Jokes - page 6

Candy Psychology

If you were buying candy and you had your choice of the following, which one would you choose? 1. BABY RUTH 2. 3 MUSKETEERS 3. BUTTER FINGER 4. SNICKERS 5. HERSHEY’S 6. ALMOND JOY 7. CLARK BAR 8. GOOD’N’PLENTY 9. ENERGY BAR 10. CHOCOLATE COVERED RAISINS OK — Now that you have chosen, here’s what research says about you: Don’t scroll down until you’ve made your choice! No, you can’t change your mind once you scroll! So think carefully! :…

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Read JokeCandy Psychology

Blonde Jokes… A List

How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…

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Read JokeBlonde Jokes… A List

King Arthur & the Old Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur?s youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the…

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Read JokeKing Arthur & the Old Witch

Really!! Only 3 times!

A loving couple was celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, privately, at home with a couple of bottles of champagne. A bit tipsy and feeling very intimate the husband turns to his wife and asks, “Tell me truthfully, have you ever been unfaithful to me?” “Well,” she replied, “since you ask, to tell you the truth I have been unfaithful on three occasions.” “What? How could you?” “Let me tell you about it,” she said. “The first time was back when…

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Read JokeReally!! Only 3 times!

Why did the chicken…(political version 2000)

Why DID the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let…

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Read JokeWhy did the chicken…(political version 2000)

Who else but Bill?

Bill and Hillary were married for 40 years. When they first got married Bill said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 40 years of marriage Hillary never looked. However on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $1874.25 in cash. She closed the box and…

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Read JokeWho else but Bill?

Say WHO?

Bernie was invited to his friend’s home for dinner. All night the host kept calling his wife by endearing terms like Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. Bernie looked at his friend and remarked, “That’s really nice, that after all the years that you have been married, you keep calling your wife those pet names.” The other man hung his head and whispered, “To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago.”

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Read JokeSay WHO?

A true story…..

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable, because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I’m lying. On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was too humiliating to reveal. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.…

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Read JokeA true story…..

A LONG WAY

Our country has come a long way. First, we had George Washington, who couldn’t tell a lie. Then we had Bill Clinton, who couldn’t tell the truth . . . And then we had Al Gore, who can’t tell the difference!

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Read JokeA LONG WAY

So Much for Instructions

After several hours of reading the directions, attempting to fit bolt A into slot B, etc., this father finally gave up and called upon an old handyman working in a neighboring yard. The old-timer came over, threw away the directions, and in a short while, had the set completely assembled. “It’s beyond me,” said the father, “how you got it together without even reading the instructions.” “To tell you the truth,” replied the old-timer, “I can’t read, and when you…

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Read JokeSo Much for Instructions