Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A blonde was going to hang herself, so she took a rope and a small ladder and headed to a tree in the park. A man passed her as she was setting everything up. He thought nothing of it, so he left. He came back later that day and saw the blonde sitting in the tree with the rope around her neck. “What happened to you? Why do you have a rope around your neck?” asked the man. The blonde…
(0)
Loading...
A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. (In Germany and many parts of Europe, McDonald’s actually does serve beer.) The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him the jab: “They don’t serve BEER here, you MORON!” The German fellow felt pretty stupid, but suddenly turns to the New Yorker with a surprised look, and begins to chuckle. “And what’s so funny?” the New Yorker demands. “Oh, nothing really, I…
(0)Loading...
“Mum, can I ask you something?” “Sure! What about?” “Well, you see, I’m already fourteen, and I think it’s proper that I should own one now.” “And what is this ‘one’ you’re referring to?” “Could you buy me a neat set of bras?” “No.” “But, Mum, my nipples are already prominent, and they catch attention.” “Nope.” “It will hide them better….” “I said NO!” “But all of my friends wear….!” “DAVID! How many times must I tell you that bras…
(0)Loading...
A blonde goes to her mechanic and says, “My car is not working properly, can you fix it?” The mechanic tinkers with it for a while and says, “All done! Your car is fine.” The blonde asks, “What’s the story?” “Just crap in your carburator.” “Well how often should I do that?”
(0)Loading...
One day Father Murphy couldn’t find his cat. Once he did, he found it in a tree. The tree was too high for him to climb so he tied a rope to the branch and the other end to his truck. He began to pull the branch down and was almost done when the rope broke. The cat went soaring through the air. He went all through the neighborhood to see if anyone saw it but no one did. A…
(0)Loading...
After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office. “Mr. James, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck.” “Oh, he didn’t kill himself,” Mr. James replied. “I hung him…
(0)Loading...
Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused. She said she didn’t believe in capital punishment and didn’t want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. The public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. “Madam,” he explained, “this is not a murder trial! It’s a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case…
(0)Loading...
Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day, as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man, casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt, got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she said in a scolding manner, “Dressed a little casually today, aren’t we?” The man replied, “That’s one benefit of owning the company!”
(0)Loading...
A guy goes to a proctologist to complain about a rectal disorder. The doctor examines him, tells him he needs an enema, gives him the necessary medication for the enema, and asks him to come back the following week for a checkup. Upon returning the next week, the guy complains that the medication did nothing for him. “Did you use the medication properly?” asks the doctor. “Of course I did, Doc! Jeez, what do you think, I shoved it up…
(0)Loading...
Hubby: “You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?” Wife: “When there is a problem, no matter how insurmountable, I look at your picture and the problem seems to disappear.” Hubby: “You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you!” Wife: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself: ‘What other problem can there be that is greater than this one?’ Nothing like getting the proper perspective on a problem, don’t you agree?”
(0)Loading...