Room time Jokes - page 19

Playing Worse and Worse

When John Mariucci was coaching the U.S. Olympic hockey team, there was a time or two when he became a bit impatient with his young and inexperienced squad. During one locker room tirade he screamed, “Every day you guys look worse and worse. And today you played like tomorrow.”

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bank robbery

A pregnant lady walked into a bank in the middle of a robbery, and was shot three times in the stomach. She was rushed to the hospital and asked if the triplets would be ok the doctor said they will pass the bullet in nine years. Nine years pass and one of the boys came home from school and said, “Mommy, mommy, I shit a bullet!” and she said “That is normal.” Then another boy came out of the bathroom…

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Another poopie list

Someone I know found this joke for me. It made me laugh so it might work on you! Ghost Poopie- The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there’s no poopie in the toilet. Clean Poopie- The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there’s nothing on the toilet paper. Wet Poopie- The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet…

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Make the visit worthwhile….

A fellow was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, and said to himself every so often, “Lord I hope I’m sick!” After about the 5th or 6th time, the receptionist couldn’t stand it any longer and asked, “Why in the world would you want to be sick, Mr. Adams?” The man replied, “I’d hate to be well & feel like this!”

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He carries it….

A little boy was in a relative’s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride’s side and groom’s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar… So it went: step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle. As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached…

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Easy Way Of Writing Home

Dear Parent(s), I am too busy to write, but this checklist covers most of the topics of interest to both of us. Please send: __ Money (Cash)! Amount: $_______ __ Food (Cookies)! Dozens: ________ __ Clean clothes! Relationships: __ What? __ I am in love with myself __ I am in love! __ I am engaged __ I got married last weekend My Roommate: __ Worships the ground I walk on __ Gave me a black eye __ Committed suicide…

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Call Guinness

Three midgets were sitting at a tavern one afternoon. One of the midgets, sat quietly,staring at his hands for the longest time. Before long his friend asked him,” Hey, what the hell are you doing?” “Well”, he exclaimed, “I was just noticing that I have the smallest hands of anyone I have ever seen!” ” Oh yeah”, said his partner, “you think that’s bad you should see my feet” Just then the third midget returned from the restroom and questioned,…

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whats my son goin to be

A conserned farmer is wondering what his son is going to be when he grows up. So he takes his son to a psychic. The farmer askes the psychic, “Can you tell me what my son is going to be when he grows up?” The psychic says, “Yeah sure.” So the psychic puts the boy in an empty room with a table and chair. He places an apple, bible and a 50 cent peice on the table. The psychic leaves…

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The State of the Union

THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…

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A true story…

A true story . . . . When Apollo Mission Astronaut, Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous “One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind” statement, but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he reentered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.” Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some…

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