Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where…
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1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter…
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When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a “dirty son of a bitch” to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office New Year’s Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today, and as this is my last day on the job, I’d like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I…
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1. The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the top, and you sit on the bottom. 2. Mushrooms always grow in damp places, which is why they look like umbrellas. 3. The fours seasons are: salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar. 4. The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana. 5. Thunder is a rich source of loudness. 6. Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun,…
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APPLICATION FOR ARKANSAS DRIVERS LICENSE Last name: __________________________ First name: (Check appropriate box) [_] Billy-Bob [_] Bobby-Sue [_] Billy-Joe [_] Bobby-Jo [_] Billy-Ray [_] Bobby-Ann [_] Billy-Sue [_] Bobby-Lee [_] Billy-Mae [_] Bobby-Ellen [_] Billy-Jack [_] Bobby-Beth Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right Occupation: [_] Farmer [_] Mechanic [_] Hair Dresser [_] Waitress [_] Unemployed [_] Dirty Politician Spouse’s Name: __________________________ 2nd Spouse’s Name: _______________________ 3rd Spouse’s…
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A boy and his classmates arrive at school on Monday. Their teacher tells them that every Friday he will ask the class a question on what they have been learning, and that whoever answers it correctly will not have to go to school until Tuesday. With this, the boy decides for the first week to see how hard the question is. On Friday, the teacher asks the class, “How much water is in the Atlantic Ocean?” The boy thinks to…
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There was an alien man and a human man talking on a porch one day. They were talking about whos wife is better in bed. They eventually decide to switch girlfriends for one night. The alien took the human girl into his room and pulled off his pants. He was like 2 inches long. “I dont think this will work out” she said. So he smiles and pulls on his ear. It grows longer. The alien keeps doin this untill…
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A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time. She shows him into the living room. Then she excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks. As he’s standing there, he notices an unusual vase on the mantle. He picks it up, and as he’s looking at it, she walks back in. He says, “What’s this?” She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.” He goes, “Geez…oohhh my … I’m sorry….” She…
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On a cruise ship touring the Mediterranean, there was a magician who would perform a cabaret act every night in the ship’s bar. Now, also in that bar, there was a parrot, who from his vantage point near the ceiling could see exactly how each trick was done. Every night was the same. Everytime he performed a trick the parrot would yell to the audience how the trick was done: “It’s up his sleeve!” or “Look under the table!” The…
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A Chinese man arranges for a hooker to come to his room for the evening. Once in the room, they undress, climb into bed, and go at it. When finished, the Chinese man jumps up, runs over to the window, takes a deep breath, dives under the bed, climbs out the other side, jumps back into bed with the hooker and commences a repeat performance. The hooker is impressed with the gusto of the second encounter. When finished, the Chinese…
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