Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Manpower was recently selecting a new research officer for General Motors. Part of selction process involved asking the three shortlisted women what they would do if they were overpaid $5,000. The first women said that she would spend all the money on new clothes and shoes and hope that she wouldn’t have to pay it back. The second women said that she would invest the money on the Dow, double her money overnight and pay the $5,000 back. The third…
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Each morning, a self-righteous, nosy cab driver would drive a man to his place of employment and would later return to drive the man’s wife to her place of employment…a brothel. During a conversation one morning with the man, the nosy cab driver smugly stated, “I don’t mean to be prying, but did you know that each morning after dropping you off at work, I return and take your wife and drop her off at a brothel where she works?”…
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A very dumb man applies for a job at the supermarket. He gets the job. The first day his training started. His boss said “I’ll pretend to be the customer and you make a sale to me.” “Okay, let’s start. Excuse me sir, but how much are these oranges?” “Umm…I dunno,” replied the trainee lamely. “No, no, no! You’re supposed to say, ‘A dollar seventy-five’!” scolded the boss. “Let’s try again.” “Excuse me sir, but how much are these oranges?”…
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One day Tarzan got into a bloody fight with a lion. Although he killed the lion Tarzan lost an eye, his right arm, and his genitals. Jane quickly took him to the friendly witch doctor to see if he could save the Lord of the Jungle. The witch doctor had no human parts to replace those missing so, he improvised. He carefully sewed the eye of an eagle into Tarzan’s skull, the arm of a female gorilla into his shoulder…
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Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On a Sears hairdryer: Warning: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, but that’s the only time I have to work on my hair.) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special) On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?) On…
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A young American arriving in England in 1961 for postgraduate study at Oxford went to visit American-born poet T. S. Eliot. As he was leaving, he noticed that the poet was apparently searching for the right remark with which to bid him farewell. “Forty years ago I went from Harvard to Oxford,” Eliot began. There was a prolonged pause while the younger man waited breathlessly for the poet’s words of wisdom. Finally Eliot said, “Have you any long underwear?”
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Santa Claus: An engineer’s perspective I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each. II.…
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A man and his wife had been stranded on a deserted island for many years. The morning following a bad storm, a new guy washes up on the shore. The new guy and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but they realize that certain protocols will have to be observed. The husband, oblivious to the pheromones floating around, is very glad to see the second man there. “This is wonderful! Now we’ll be able to have…
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A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde driver. “Ma’am, is there a reason that you’re weaving all over the road?” The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree…
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After the successful D-Day invasion of France during World War II, General Dwight Eisenhower, the Allied Supreme Commander overseeing the invasion was inspecting a British section of the Allied Lines when German planes came over and strafed them. The party dived for cover. As soon as it was safe to emerge a senior British officer hurried across to see if Eisenhower was all right. Finding him unharmed, he expressed his relief in fervent terms. Ike thanked him for his solicitude.…
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