Right man Jokes - page 15

an early x-mas story

Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went…

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Name the Animals

The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, “That’s a sheep!” “That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about THIS one?” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. “That’s a lion!” answered a little boy. “Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She…

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Just Like Dave Bronson – A Perfect Guy

A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Dave.” “Who?” “Dave Bronson. There’s a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Dave.” “There are always a few clouds over everybody.” “Not Dave. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro…

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A Perplexing Problem

A man goes to see his doctor, and says, “Doc, there is something wrong with me….Every time I stand in a baby’s high chair and face northeast, and then touch my tongue to a piece of aluminum foil that’s wrapped around a walnut, I get a tingle in my right big toe. Can you tell me what my problem is?” “Yeah,” the doctor says, “You’ve got too much time on your hands.”

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Baby Names

A man and woman marry after a brief courtship and all is well for a time. Eventually they are blessed with child. The woman’s time comes, and as she is taken into the operating room, she calls the husband over. “Honey, there’s something I really have to tell you. There is as an very old tradition in our families that the oldest living male gets to name any new children born to anyone in the family. That means my brother…

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Best Emergency Room Stories

Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…

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Billy the Clint

Billy The Clint. Remake of and inspired by one of the previous JOWs called “Billy the Kid” Young Billy wanted to be the best, quickest lover in the World, and when he spotted Casanova having a beer in a bar, he asked if he could have a word with him. “Sure, son, what’s on your mind?” asks Giacomo, looking up at the young man. “Sir, I want to be the best and quickest lover there is, and I’d be in…

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Bushisms, pt 1

“I don’t want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.” ?Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000 “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”?LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 “If I’m the president, we’re going to…

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Driver Thinks Fast

A cardiologist came up with a new operating procedure that would cut down the time that heart surgery would take and would cause less trauma to the patient. He was praised by his peers when he presented it at a convention in Washington D.C. He was also paid $50,000 to present his find. He did a couple more of these presentations and realized that it would be more lucrative to do lectures on his find than to work as a…

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