Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man wanted to buy a parrot, so he goes to the pet shop and inquires about their stock. The attendant shows him a parrot, which is quite exceptional in that it speaks any language you want it to. Intrigued by this, the man decides to test the bird by asking it a few questions: Man: “Do you speak English?” Parrot: “Yes.” M: Hablas Espanol?” P: “Si!” M” “parlez vouz Francaise?” P: “Oui!” M: “Sprechen sie Deutsch?” P: “Jawohl!” M:…
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Jeffery was a maintenance man for a big-time broadway production company. He was the guy who went around sweeping the floors after hours. One day, though, Jeffery was approached by one of the big time directors, a man dressed all in black, with a megaphone hung limply in his left arm. “Jeffery,” he said, “I have some news for you. We’re putting on a gigantic production about the Civil War tomorrow. One of my men came down with the flu…
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George went down to breakfast at a B&B in Brighton. He sat down at the table and ate his breakfast. “Are you sure this egg is cooked properly? It tastes horrible!” The fat landlady replied, “I didnt cook it, lovey. It was still warm this morning when the dog laid it.”
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Three baseball fans were on their way to a game when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female dead drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Cubs fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Red Sox fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, the Yankee fan took off his cap and…
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An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, “I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what’s wrong with me.” “Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor. “Do you drink much?” “Alcohol?” said the man. “I’m a teetotaler. Never touch a drop.” “How about smoking?” asked the doctor. “Never,” replied the man. “Tobacco is bad, and I have strong principles against it.” “Well, uh,” said the doctor, “do you have much sex…
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In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the Points System. —————————————— SIMPLE DUTIES: Making The Bed: You make the bed …………………………………………+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows……..0 You throw the…
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While the U.S. stock market was at an all-time high, the ups and downs frightened a lot of small investors. A guy went to his financial adviser at the bank and asked if he were worried. He replied that he slept like a baby. He was amazed and asked, “Really? Even with all the fluctuations?” He said, “Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours.”
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Traffic was excessively heavy at an intersection in New York City. A very obviously pregnant woman, stepped right out into traffic to cross the street and the screeching of brakes could be heard for blocks. One irate truck driver leaned out his window and yelled: “Hey Lady!! You can get knocked DOWN, too!”
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One time when I was home visiting my folks, my mom asked me to set the table. I opened the refrigerator and, taped to the inside of the door, was a risque picture of a lovely, slender, perfect-built, but scantily-clad, young woman. “Mom, what’s this? I asked. “Oh, I put that up there to remind me not to over-eat,” she answered. “Is it working?” I asked. “Well, yes and no,” she replied. “I’ve lost 15 pounds, but your dad has…
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A newspaper reporter for the Los Angeles Times had received instructions from his senior editor to get photographs of a brush fire in the foothills of northern California. The instructions included hurrying to the Santa Monica Airport to board a small plane, taking some photos of the fire, and hurrying back by noon to meet a deadline. The reporter dressed quickly, rushed to the airport, saw the small plane waiting on the runway, drove his car to the end of…
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