Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day there were 3 amateurs and a pro playing golf. They went up to the first tee, and the pro went first. He hit it right on the green, 300 yards away. Then one of the amateurs went up to the tee and it sliced to the right. He asked the pro, “What causes that?” “LOFT,” he replied. Then the next amateur went up and sliced it to the left. He asked, “What causes that?” And the pro answered,…
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One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…
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DID YOU EVER HEAR THE EXPRESSION: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING? THIS IS HOW IT ORIGINATED: George Washington was traveling with his troops at Valley Forge. They were cold, hungry and tired. One of the soldiers asks General Washington when they can stop to get some food and rest. Washington tells them he’ll stop at the next house he sees. At the house, he knocks on the door and asks the lady if she can give his men food and…
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A man sitting at the window one evening casually calls to his wife, “There’s that woman that our next door neighbor is fooling around with!” His wife dropped the plate she was drying, ran into the living room, knocked over a vase and broke it on her way to the window. “WHERE? WHERE? she demanded. “Right over there on the corner. The lady in the blue dress.” “YOU IDIOT! THAT’S HIS WIFE!!!” “Yes, I know,” the husband said, with a…
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Within his few months of eternity, George Bush finds Moses walking the streets of gold. Thinking to himself: “It would be interesting to compare notes, head-of-state to head-of-state.” He approaches Moses. Moses sees him coming, turns white and runs the other way! Puzzled by this reaction, George goes on his way in paradise. A few hundred years pass, and George Bush again sees Moses walking the streets of Gold. This time he is able to stand right beside Moses before…
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1. If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda. 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than they do. 4. Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. e.g. hot chocolate, brandy, toast, Sara Lee cheesecake. 5. If you fatten…
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Follow the instructions demonstrated in the dialogue shown, and YOU can get a free meal. No law-breaking is involved. This incident really happened…. Enter any eating establishment, which does NOT have a dining counter. Here’s how the conversation with the host/hostess MIGHT proceed: “I’d like to sit at the counter.” “I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t have a counter.” “Yes you do.” “No, I’m sorry, but we do not.” “You have no counter at all, in this establishment?” “No Sir,…
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Two bishops were discussing the decline of morals in the modern world. “I didn’t sleep with my wife before I was married,” said one clergy-man, self-righteously. “Did you?” “I don’t know,” said the other. “What was her maiden name?”
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1. Connection – Heh… what connection? 2. Complicated – Once you finally connect to the Internet (see #1), the thing that they don’t tell you when you get the Internet is how impossible it is to use if you have never used it before. They all think it is sooo easy, and I probably would think it was easy too if I programmed it. If you are dedicated enough to actually try to figure it out, that is close to…
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If Con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?…
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