Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Earlier this year, when President Clinton visited various African nations, he had some interesting comments to say just prior to a press conference. At one of his stops, as he came down to the bottom of the steps off of Air Force One, a shapely African woman walked up to greet him. “Hello, young lady, what tribe do you belong to?” the President asks. “Ubange,” she answered, to which the President said, “Youbetcha. Right after the press conference.”
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A gentleman was at a bar very late and was extremely drunk. He decided that since he lived close to the bar he would go ahead and walk home. He tried to get up and fell flat on his face. He dragged himself across the bar to the door and tried to haul himself up again. He fell again. he crawled down the street to his front door and tried to stand again. Again he fell. He managed to drag…
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, “Now, boys, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”
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There once was a poor lad named Timmy who had the misfortune of being born with only a head — no arms, no legs, nothing but a head. Now Timmy was a basically happy person and he was loved and cared for by his family. As long as he stayed within the shelter of his family he was unworried by his condition, but as soon as he was thrust out into the world he knew that something was seriously wrong.…
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You smell so bad, you make Right Guard turn left, Speed Stick slow down, Secret obvious, and Sure confused.
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**How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be open by the time she brings it! **Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you! **Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink! **How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?…
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An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and says, “You’re an engineer, you’re in the wrong place.” So the engineer reports to the Gates of Hell and is welcomed. Soon, the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell; he begins to design and build improvements. Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls…
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God’s Human DNA Code For many years molecular biologists have been mystified by the fact that very little of an organism’s DNA seems to serve any useful function. I have solved the mystery. The reason why only 30% of human DNA performs any useful function is that the rest of it is comments. Once we decode a typical human genome, we see that the contents begin as follows: ===/* HUMAN_DNA.H * * Human Genome * Version 2.1 * * (C)…
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A blonde was driving one day. She swerves to the left then to the right. Suddenly a police officer pulls her over and askes, “What’s wrong? why do you keep swerving?” The blond replies, “I saw a tree to my right so I swerved to the left, then I saw a tree to my right so I swerved to my left.” Then the police officer says, “MA’M thats your air freshner.”
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A guy wakes up one morning and notices a gorilla sitting in the tree outside his bedroom window. He starts to panic, wondering what he should do. Eventually he decides to phone the local zoo. “Great,” says the zookeeper. “We’ve been looking for that gorilla everywhere. We’ll send a team over right away.” After ten minutes a van pulls up and out gets a zookeeper, holding a shotgun, followed by a small terrier. “How do you expect to catch the…
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