Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day little Johnny came home from school and saw that a new house was being built down the block. His mom told him he could go watch if he promised to be very careful and stay out of the way. When he got back, he was very excited and told his mom he learned something new. “Take one end of this piece of string and go to the other end of the room.” After she did this, he tried…
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I know it’s long, but it’s worth reading:o) Occasionally, airline flight attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: “As we prepare for takeoff, please make sure your tray tables and seat backs are fully upright in their most uncomfortable position.” “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this airplane…” “Your seat cushions…
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Little Johnnie Christmas – Little Johnnie had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do? The shrink said, “Since Christmas is coming up, you should ask Johnnie what he wants Santa to bring him. If he cusses while he tells you his wish list, leave a pile of dog poop in place of the gift or gifts he requests.” Two days before Christmas, Johnny’s father asked him what…
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My grandfather worked in a blacksmith shop when he was a boy, and he used to tell me, when I was a little boy myself, how he had toughened himself up so he could stand the rigors of blacksmithing. One story was how he had developed his arm and shoulders muscles. He said he would stand outside behind the house and, with a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, he would extend his arms straight out to his sides and…
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Several weeks ago we hired a blond who wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” she told her. With that, the blond took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make FIVE BLANK COPIES.
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A sailor and his bride arrived at the honeymoon suite of their hotel. The bride had not ‘gone all the way’ before and was very nervous. Her mother had told her it would be very painful, but that it was her wifely duty. “Just make the best of it, as I’ve always had to,” she said. The young sailor showed her things the bride had never been ‘warned about’ by her mother which the young wife bravely agreed to but…
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Bill Clinton was in the oval office, breathing a sigh of relief after being found not guilty in the Monica Lewinsky trial, when he found out he now may be found guilty in Contempt of Court in the Paula Jones case. “Oh, God!” Bill cried, “Please have mercy on me!” Immediately there was a bright light in the room and a voice boomed from the light. “Bill, this is God,” the voice said, “and I will grant you any three…
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10. I think of you as a sister. (You’re ugly.) 9. There’s a slight difference in our ages. (You’re ugly.) 8. I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way. (You’re ugly.) 7. My life is too complicated right now. (You’re ugly.) 6. I’ve got a girlfriend. (You’re ugly.) 5. I don’t date women where I work. (You’re ugly.) 4. It’s not you, it’s me. (You’re ugly.) 3. I’m concentrating on my career. (You’re ugly.) 2. I’m celibate. (You’re ugly.) ….and…
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On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven’s Gate waiting on St. Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven. St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, “I don’t know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,” and he left. The couple…
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English Phrase/(Chinese Phrase): I think you need a facelift/(Chin Tu Fat) Are you hiding a fugitive?/(Hu Yu Hai Ding?) See me A.S.A.P./(Kum Hai Nao) Stupid man/(Dum Gai) Small Horse/(Tai Ni Po Ni) Did you go to the beach?/(Wai Yu So Tan?) I bumped into a coffe table/(Ai Bang Mai Ni) It’s very dark in here/(Wai So Dim?) Has your flight been delayed?/(Hao Long Wai Ting?) An unauthorized execution/(Lin Ching) I thought you were on a diet/(Wai Yu Mun Ching?) This…
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