Red light Jokes - page 13

Stuttering John was, once again, rathered embarrassed at the toothbrush company’s monthly sales meeting. “How many tooth brushes did you sell this month?” asked his sales manager. “I ssssold fffour tttooothbrushes llast month, bboss,” stammered John. “That doesn’t cut the mustard,” shouted the sales manager, “you need to come up with a gimmick if you want to be a successful salesman!’ “Wwhat’s a gggiimmick?” asked John. “You know,” said the sales manager, “anything that will make the customer buy your…

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Midget walks into a bar, throws a five dollar bill on the table and says to the bartender, “Give me a five dollar shot of your best whiskey! And who’s the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight?” The bartender pours the midget a nice healthy shot of Crown Royal and says, “Well, I’d say the large fellow at the end of the bar is the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight.” Well the midget…

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A woman called to make reservations. “I want to go from Chicago to Hippopotamus, New York,” she said. The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, Ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country, and I can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.” The customer retored, “Oh, don’t…

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For years I lived in places with no trees, so I was thrilled to move to a home in a forest. When a tree shoot began to grow next to our front path, I was delighted, and I pampered the sapling by fertilizing, watering, and offering tender loving care. Yet it appeared to weaken. I poured out more fertilizer, but it still struggled for life. I was baffled. One evening when my room mate and I arrived home, she yanked…

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