Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An old fellow was snoozing away, contentedly, when he was startled awake by the doorbell. He staggered off the couch to make his way to the door. There stood a gorgeous young woman. “Oh, my goodness,” the pretty young thing exclaimed. “I’m at the wrong house.” “Sweetheart, you’re at the right house, the old guy assured her. “But you’re forty years too late!”
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In one of his autobiographical works, English author Augustus John Cuthbert Hare described the experience of a certain lady who awoke in the middle of the night with the sense that someone else was in her room. The sound of footsteps going to and fro across the room and the impression of hands moving over the bed terrified the poor lady so much that she fainted. Only when morning came was it discovered that the butler had walked in his…
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Q: Why have they banned the wearing of skirts at the White House? A: They were tired of seeing Hillary’s balls
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Two rednecks named Bob & Earl were sick of being called stupid, so they decided to go to college and get an education. Bob went in first and got his schedule. “Math, Science, and Logic.” he read. Now Bob knew about Science and Math but had never heard of Logic, so he asked a professer just what it meant. “Well,” began the professer, “Do you have a weedeater?” “Yep.” answered Bob. “Ok, since you have a weedeater, I assume you…
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Introducing a House Bill to Regulate the Hunting and Harvesting of Attorneys PC 370.00 370.01 -Any person with a valid State Rodent or Snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for recreational and sport (non-commercial) purposes. 370.02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited. 370.03 -The willful targeting of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in…
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It was a hot day in Mississippi and Helga, the family’s German housekeeper, had hung the wash outside to dry, baked a strudel and then went into town to pick up dry-cleaning and buy groceries. “Gootness zakes”, she thought to herself as she walked to the cleaners, “It sure iss hodt.” As she happened to pass a tavern, she pictured a frosty cold drink, so she went inside and sat down at the bar. “Afternoon, Maam,” smiled the friendly bartender.…
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When we moved into our new home, the first one we owned rather than rented, one of my husband’s friends gave him a bottle of champagne. In the hustle and bustle of getting settled, the gift was tucked away and temporarily forgotten. Three months later, we held a Christening party for our third child. Champagne flowed in celebration until, running short, we remembered our housewarming gifts. In front of our guests, I open the attached card and read it aloud,…
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There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…
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Top 39 things you would NEVER hear a Southerner say ever, no matter how much they’ve had to drink, no matter how far from the South they’ve wandered and no matter how much the skunks are threatening… ****************************************************** 39. I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 38. Duct tape won’t fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken. 35. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody…
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Tony Harrison’s ‘Once Controversial’ Poem Gets Ultimate Graveyard Gig, Author Attends (Spiritually, Anyway). What better way to honor a poet than to perform his most famous (and famously scandalous) work right where it all began? ? This performance of the ‘once controversial’ poem V, originally planned for its 40th anniversary in the very Leeds cemetery that inspired it, has now taken on a whole new layer of dramatic irony. The timing couldn’t be more… poetic, as it will now also…
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