Red apple Jokes - page 2

Kid’s Bible Stories

The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (ie bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.…

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Great Debate

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to leave Italy. There was, of course, a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal. He would have a religious debate with a leader of the Jewish community. If the Jewish leader won the debate, the Jews would be permitted to stay in Italy. If the Pope won, the Jews would have to leave. The Jewish community met and picked an aged Rabbi, Moishe,…

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Student Bloopers: The World According to………..

One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and you will learn a lot. The inhabitants of Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of…

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Top 10 signs you’ve joined a cheap HMO

10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. 9. Directions to your doctor’s office include, “Take a left when you enter the trailer park.” 8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles. 7. Only proctologist in the plan is “Gus” from Roto-Rooter. 6. Only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is “an apple a day.” 5. Your “primary care physician” is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month. 4. “Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges” is not a typo.…

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THINGS TO PONDER

Why do we park in a driveway and drive in a parkway? Why is an orange called an orange and an apple isn’t a red? Why is a pear called a pear when it’s only one? Is grass really greener on the other side? Why do we wear a pair of panties and only one bra? If corn oil comes from corn where does baby oil come from?

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Three Three Explorers Meet The Cannibals

Three famous explorers, Dr. Smith, Dr. Doe and Dr. Jones, were on an anthropological excursion into the deepest jungle of Borneo when they were captured by a tribe of head-hunting cannibals. When the three captive explorers were brought into the village, the cannibals’ chief told them, “You all trespassers! We no like trespassers. We eat trespassers. But we very fair. You three take test first. If you pass test, you go away alive. But if you fail, you lose head…

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