Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I did not do it in a car I did not do it in a bar I did not do it in the dark I did not do it in the park I did not do it on a date I did not ever fornicate I did not do it at a dance I did not do it in her pants I did not get beyond first base I did not do it in her face I never did it…
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10. Musical Recliners 9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta 8. Hide and Go Pee 7. Simon Says Something Incoherent 6. Doc, Doc Goose 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over 4. Kick the Bucket 3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear 2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy 1. Sag, You’re It!
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One day the teacher is explaining to her class about morals. She tells them about how her grandfather would raise chickens and that each morning, he would go out, gather the eggs, put them into cartons and carry them to the supermarket to sale. One day he ran out of cartons, so he put all his eggs into a basket, put the basket onto the back of his truck, and headed into town. Along the way, he hit a pothole,…
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After the resident lion tamer had resigned, the circus placed an ad in the local newspaper for a new lion tamer. On the day of the try-outs, at least fifty men showed up. The audition would have started if not for a young blonde wearing a trench coat who suddenly appeared. She asked the ringmaster for a slot in the try-out and the ringmaster decided to make the blonde try out first. When the young blonde entered the large cage,…
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A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, “It’s a lot of money!” After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president’s office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, “$165,000!” and dumped the cash…
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God…. “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ’95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.” Bill replied,…
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Dave is struggling through the Dallas airport terminal with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a man stops him and says “Pardon me, do you have the time?” Dave sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. “It’s a quarter to three”, he says. “Thanks, that’s a pretty fancy watch”, says the man. Dave smiles. “Yes, I invented it. Check this out.”, and he shows him a time zone display, not just for every time zone on…
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What does your profession say about you? ======================================= 1. MARKETING You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales. 2. SALES Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree.” You are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like…
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There was a doctor doing his daily rounds in the local mental institution. He got to one of the rooms and noticed two patients in there acting strangely. He walks up to Patient#1 and says, “Excuse me, but just what is it that you are doing?” Patient#1 looks up at the doctor and says, “Duh…can’t you see I’m cutting this piece of wood?!” The doctor notices him sawing back and forth on an imaginary piece of wood but says nothing…
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Researchers at Harvard have discovered why Jewish women love Chinese restaurants. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Won ton” spelled backwards is “not now”.
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