Rec room Jokes - page 6

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues: “Hello?” “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” “Yes.” “Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?” “What’s the price?” “Only $1,500.” “Well,…

(0)
Loading...

1. Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is. 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. 3. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter…

(3)Loading...

A middle aged woman is on the operating table for bypass surgery when she has a near-death experience. She is floating above the room and sees God. “Excuse me, God,” she says, “Is this the end?” “Oh no, my dear,” says God. “You have another forty years to live.” When she recovers, she decides to remain in the hospital for a complete makeover, knowing she’s going to be around for another forty years. She gets a face-lift, liposuction, tummy tuck,…

(0)
Loading...

A boy and his classmates arrive at school on Monday. Their teacher tells them that every Friday he will ask the class a question on what they have been learning, and that whoever answers it correctly will not have to go to school until Tuesday. With this, the boy decides for the first week to see how hard the question is. On Friday, the teacher asks the class, “How much water is in the Atlantic Ocean?” The boy thinks to…

(1)Loading...

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…

(4)Loading...

A health inspector walks up to a hot dog stand and orders a hot dog. The vendor grabs a hot dog with his dirty hands, slaps it in a bun and gives it to the inspector. The inspector says “This is a recipe for disease. I’m a health inspector and am closing you down. You have 3 weeks to get your act together.” The health inspector returns in 3 weeks and orders another hot dog. The vendor uses clean tongs…

(6)Loading...

16) Child comes home without glasses claiming to have lost them in a game of “Lord of the Flies.” 15) Your son thinks making hand-puppets requires a paper bag, some waterpaints, and no pants. 14) “OK, kids! Gather ’round the pentagram for sing-a-long time!” 13) Potty training involves a lighter, a clip and rolling papers. 12) First school fund-raiser is for the Salman Rushdie fatwa reward prize. 11) No student has ever jumped from Mary Margaret’s School for the Gender…

(0)
Loading...

If you were buying candy and you had your choice of the following, which one would you choose? 1. BABY RUTH 2. 3 MUSKETEERS 3. BUTTER FINGER 4. SNICKERS 5. HERSHEY’S 6. ALMOND JOY 7. CLARK BAR 8. GOOD’N’PLENTY 9. ENERGY BAR 10. CHOCOLATE COVERED RAISINS OK — Now that you have chosen, here’s what research says about you: Don’t scroll down until you’ve made your choice! No, you can’t change your mind once you scroll! So think carefully! :…

(1)Loading...