Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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Two men were walking in a forest when they suddenly see a bear ten feet away from them. One of the guys bent down and began to tie his shoes. “Are you crazy?” The other guy said. “Do you really think you can outrun a bear?” The guy replied, ” I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you.”
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~The following are actual winning analogies in the “worst analogies ever written in a high school essay” contest~ They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers…
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A man and his wife have finished watching a TV movie about a woman who hires a private investigator to find out if her husband is really cheating on her. The man turns to his wife and asks, “Would you do what that woman on TV did?” The woman thinks for a moment and then says, “Well, probably not so much to find out who the other woman is but to see if I could find out what in heaven’s…
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Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken, the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.The Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President’s staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field…
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10. Beers at lunch get you reprimanded. 9. College sweatshirts are ‘casual’ instead of dress-up. 8. The 4 food groups are no longer beer, pizza, ramen and cereal. 7. Three Words: School Loan Payments. 6. Sneakers are now ‘weekend shoes’. 5. Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks. 4. You empathize with the characters from ‘Friends’. 3. Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone’s and Mad Dog. 2. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. And the Number 1 Sign…
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A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, “Granddaughter? Are you there?” The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, “Grandmother? Is that you?” “Yes granddaughter, it’s me.” “It’s really, really you, grandmother?” the woman repeats. “Yes, it’s really me, granddaughter.” The woman looks…
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The latest terms to add to your vocabulary in the Y2K office environment: * Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. * Salmon day – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. * Chainsaw consultant – An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands. * CLM – Career…
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The Top 16 Signs You’re on a Mafia Hit List 16. Your waiter wails in anguish as he tosses you the menu from the kitchen. 15. Your plan to skim protection money was brilliant, unlike your informercial telling others how to do likewise. 14. AOL calls to tell you your ID has changed to Sammy The Weasel. 13. Breaks seem squishy, accelerator’s kinda stuck, and there’s a half-eaten cannoli in your ashtray. 12. Three days in a row, you’ve thrown…
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One day Mr. Purdue comes up with this great idea for the Catholic Church. Immediately he makes plane reservations to go to Rome. When he gets into Rome he makes an appointment to see the Pope. When he sees the Pope he says this: “It is great to meet you, your Eminence, and I have a little proposition for you. See, I was in church the other day and I thought of a great idea. Purdue Chickens is ready to…
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