Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office But Aren’t: 10. I need to whip it out by 5. 9. Mind if I use your laptop? 8. Just stick it in my box. 7. If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag! 6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!! 5. HMMMMMMMM….I think it’s out of fluid! 4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish. 3. It’s an entry-level position. 2. When do you think…
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A lawyer and a stunning blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, “I ask…
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A man arrives at the Pearly Gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter reviews the Big Book to see if the man?s name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, ?I?m sorry, I don?t see your name written in the Big Book.? ?How current is your copy?? asks the man. ?I get a download every ten minutes,? St. Peter replies, ?Why do you ask?? ?I?m embarrassed to admit it, but…
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Why DID the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE: I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH: I don’t believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let…
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SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females) 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How to Fill an Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money 6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled “Don’t Wash my Silks”) 8. Parenting: No, It Doesn’t End With Conception 9. Get a Life: Learn…
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The staff at a local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town’s most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute and said, “Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn’t you like to give back to the community in some way?” The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, “First,…
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Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy.” “Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that.” Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. “I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn’t care!” “You just don’t know how to set him off,…
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A man in D.C. was driving home and got stuck in traffic. He said to himself, “This traffic is worse than normal, we just aren’t moving at all.” He sees a traffic cop walking down between the cars talking to the drivers, so he rolls down his window and asks what’s going on. The officer tells him, “Clinton’s lawyers have just agreed to make an out of court settlement to Paula Jones, without Clinton’s knowledge. Clinton’s just heard about it,…
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A man asks Jack, the produce manager of a local supermarket, for half a cabbage. “Half a cabbage?” says Jack. “Why don’t you buy a whole cabbage?” “I live alone. I don’t need a whole cabbage.” “All right, Sir,” says Jack, “I’ll be right back”,and he takes a cabbage through the swinging doors to the meat department. “Max,” he says to the butcher, not realizing the customer has followed him through the doors, “cut this in half. Some asshole wants…
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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God…. “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ’95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.” Bill replied,…
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