Real man Jokes - page 30

Keep The Motor Running

It was the stir of the town when an 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl. After a year she went into the hospital to give birth. The nurse came out to congratulate the fellow. “This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?” He answered, “You’ve got to keep that old motor running.” The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, “You really are amazing. How do you do it?” He again said, “You’ve got…

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Finding the Wife

A couple went shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways when the husband realized his wife was gone for several hours and didn’t meet him at their appointed meeting place. Tired of looking for her, he decided to sit by a beautiful blonde on the mall bench. He smiled and offered to light her cigarette and said, “Talk to me…Quick!!!” She said, “Why?” “Because everytime I am talking to a beautiful woman, my wife appears!”

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THE ORTHODOX RABBI

Debra, a beautiful Jewish girl was raised in a Strictly Orthodox home. She became engaged to Richard, a Gentile boy who agreed to convert to Judaism and to be married in the temple of Debbie’s parents. Richard had so many questions about the forthcoming ceremony that Debbie arranged for him to meet Rabbi Schiller who would be performing the marriage. “I’d like Mom and Dad to be seated right down front with all my sisters,” said Richard. “Oh no”, said…

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Read JokeTHE ORTHODOX RABBI

Reverse Roles

Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework. That, he declared, was woman’s work! But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was…

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Weight Problem

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. “I’m so ashamed, Doctor,” she said. “I guess I’ve let myself go.” The physician was checking her eyes and ears. “Don’t feel ashamed, Miss. You don’t look that bad.” “Do you really think so, Doctor?” she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, “Of course. Not…

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Read JokeWeight Problem

Midget in a bar

Midget walks into a bar, throws a five dollar bill on the table and says to the bartender, “Give me a five dollar shot of your best whiskey! And who’s the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight?” The bartender pours the midget a nice healthy shot of Crown Royal and says, “Well, I’d say the large fellow at the end of the bar is the toughest son of a bitch in this bar tonight.” Well the midget…

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Divine Wonders

A priest, a minister and a rabbi have a talk one day. The priest says, “Once I went to Jerusalem to see the Holy Land and suddenly there was a terrible storm at sea. Everybody prepared to die but I started to pray to the Lord and a wonder had happened: everywhere it was still storm but there was nothing around the ship and we got safely to the land.” “That’s quite a story,” says the minister, “Actually something like…

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Language Barrier

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, “You”re in charge of sweeping.” To the Irishman, he says, “You”re in charge of shoveling.” And to the Chinese guy, “You”re in charge of supplies.” He then says, “Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you gusy to make a dent in that there pile.” So the…

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letter of recommendation

If you have to write a ‘letter of recommendation’ for a fired employee, here are a few suggested phrases: -For the chronically absent: A man like him is hard to find. It seemed her career was just taking off. -For the office drunk: I feel his real talent is wasted here. We generally found him loaded with work to do. Every hour with him was a happy hour. -For an employee with no ambition: He could not care less about…

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Conversation between a Christian and an Atheist

There was this Christian lady who had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time on an airplane, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and went back to what he was doing. After awhile, he turned…

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Read JokeConversation between a Christian and an Atheist