Real man Jokes - page 24

10 things that piss me off

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy…Where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? 2.The Pillsbury Dough Boy is way too happy…considering that he doesn’t have a dick!! 3.People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the damn tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change it…

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The Other Side

There were two lovers, who were really into spiritualism and reincarnation. They vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the other world exactly 30 days after their death. Unfortunately, a few weeks later, the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweetheart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later. At the seance, she called out, “John, John, this is Martha. Do…

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Sisters of Mercy

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF MERCY -HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says: SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying:…

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Pearls of Wisdom

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. I am in shape. Round is a shape. Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic. Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Stupidity got us into this mess — why can’t it get us out? Even if you are on the…

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my son

Four work buddies were out golfing at the 11th hole one of them says, “Play on … I have to go to the bathroom”, so they play on and get to talking about their sons. The first guy says, “I am really proud of my son. He is doing so well, he bought his friend a new car.” The second man boasts, “My son is doing so well that he just bought his friend a 24′ boat.” The third guy…

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You might be a computer geek if…

You Might Be a Computer Geek If… You may have heard of Jeff Foxworthy’s humorous dialogue about rednecks, well, this is a twist on his style of humor. You might be a computer geek, by Jeff Foxqwerty. You might be a computer geek: 1 If you have 20/20 vision, and still can’t C… 2 If You buy a car and ask what version it is instead of model… 3 If the biggest purchase of your life happens at least once…

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Weight-loss Program

A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. “Guaranteed like heck,” he thinks to himself, “But let’s see what they think they can do.” He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he…

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A push

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half-past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” says his wife. So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the…

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Golf Fanatic

This American golf fanatic always dreamed of playing at St. Andrews, and finally got the chance. Going with his wife, they teed off andhe proceeded to play the best game of his life. After 9 holes, he was 5 strokes under par,and was on cloud nine. On the back nine, he started playing even better,even getting an Eagle on the 16th hole. He was so excited that he ended up slicing the shot on the 17th tee,and as he walked…

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2 gay guys have a baby

There are these two gay guys and they really want to have a baby together, so they go out looking and finally find a woman to bear their child for them… well after the baby’s born they go to the nursery where they keep the newborns and all the babies are screaming!! …but then they see one little boy off to the side and he’s really calm. They say, “Well that must be ours, he’s just so precious!” they then…

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Read Joke2 gay guys have a baby