Real friends Jokes - page 9

What a Team!

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. “Oh, we’ll never need counseling. My husband and I have a great relationship,” the wife explained. “He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well, and I act like I’m listening.”

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Robotic Arm

A man who lost his arms in Vietnam won a million dollars and immediately went to a doctor asking for their most advanced arms. The doctor told him that they had a brand new voice activated arm, but it costed one million dollars so he could only get one. The man agreed and got the arm. One day he goes to a bar to show off the arm to his buddies. He tells the arm to pick up his drink,…

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Einstein Explained

Old Mr. Rosenberg said to his physicist son, “Tell me something. Everyone says Albert Einstein was one of the greatest minds in the world. But what did he do? “Among other things, Papa,” said his son, “he worked out the theory of relativity.” “And what is that?” Rosenberg’s son hesitated, then said, “Well, Papa, without going into detail, it’s a way of working out a theory of the universe by beginning with the assumption that some matters we have always…

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Are You Ready to Have Children?

Mess Test :Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fishstick behind the TV and leave it there all summer. Toy Test: Buy a 55-gallon drum of Lego. (If Lego’s are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks.) Have a friend spread them all over the house and stairways. Put on a blindfold and remove your shoes and socks. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream, as this could wake the child at night.…

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I Like Monkeys

I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought this was odd since they are normally a couple thousand apiece. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I bought 200 of them. I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in…

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exchange student

A new exchange student had just come to his new school and his teacher said to him, “To help you learn english faster I want you to write down four words during lunch that you really like!” The boy nodded and went to work. When he was in the playground he played a game his friends called “take off.” He liked those words so he wrote them down. Later he and his friends were playing a game where they had…

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