Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
How do you know if you’re in love, lust, or marriage? LOVE — when your eyes meet across a crowded room LUST — when your tongues meet across a crowded room MARRIAGE — when your belt won’t meet around your waist, and you don’t care LOVE — when you argue over how many children to have LUST — when you argue over who gets the wet spot MARRIAGE — when you argue over money LOVE — when you share everything…
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Heard over The US Armed Forces Radio Station, Okinawa, in 1959. “HELLLLOOOO Okinawa!!!!!!” For all you civilian employees the time is now 4:30. For you guys in the Army and Air Force that’s 1630 hours. For you guys in the Navy that’s 8 Bells. For you Marines……..the big hand is on the 6 and the little hand is right in between the 4 and 5.
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Recently, a radio talk show host in Portland, Ore., asked her audience to come up with an official name for the new Clinton $1.7 million house in Chappaqua, New York. Her call-in contest required the names to be in relatively good taste, original, and should capture the essence of one or both of the Clintons. The response was overwhelming! Some names nominated for the Clinton’s new home included: Perjurers’ Palace HillBilly Villa The House of Bill’s Repute Drawers Downs Cheatem…
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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A radio station was running a competition: words that aren’t in the dictionary, yet could still be used in a sentence that would make logical sense. The Prize was a trip to Bali. DJ: 96FM here, what’s your name? Caller: Hi, me name’s Dave. DJ: Hello, Dave. What’s your word? Dave: Goan… spellt G-O-A-N, pronounced go-an. DJ: …You’re correct, Dave! Goan is not in the dictionary! Now, for a trip to Bali: what sentence could you use that word in…
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A film crew is on location in Kenya, when a tribal shaman approaches the director and says, “Tomorrow rain.” The director pays no attention, but the following day it pours and shooting has to be delayed. That night, the director sends his assistant to bring the shaman back. “What will be the weather tomorrow?” asks the director. “Bigger rain tomorrow, much wind,” and sure enough a terrible storm once again delays the filming. But then the witch doctor disappears for…
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Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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My friend, George, an ex-Marine Aviator, wanted to show off his new twin-engine plane. I was riding along as he put it through its paces. Suddenly, we were caught in a violent thunderstorm, with lightening crashing all around us. We lost the radio and instrument capabilities. As we were being tossed around in the sky, George said, “DANG!!” Fearing the worst, I asked, “What’s wrong now?” George replied, “I got the hiccups. Do something to scare me.”
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon? What do chickens think we taste like? What do people in China call their good plates? What do you call a male ladybug? What hair color do they put on the driver’s license of a bald man? When dog food is new and improved tasting, who…
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