Rabbi Jokes - page 2

Priest, Minister, and a Rabbi

A Priest, a Minister, and a Rabbi went camping together so they could discuss the differences between their religions and do a little fishing. After a long night of debate they decide to go to bed, but to continue the discussion while they fished the next morning. The next morning they piled into a row boat with the Priest at the oars. He rowed out about 50 feet from shore when he remembered that he forgot his tackel box. “I’m…

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4 Rabbis

One sunny summer day four rabbis are having a discussion on some part of the Torrah. Three agree on one explanation but the fourth one stands on the other. Being tired of this conversation he raises his arms and says, “God, give me a sign to prove that I’m right!” Suddenly, thunder clouds appear out of nowhere and cover the sky. The three other rabbis think for a while and say, “Nah, that’s just a coincidence” So, the rabbi raises…

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Waving rabbit

One day Roy was driving along when suddenly he spotted a rabbit in the middle of the road. He tried to swerve, but still ended up hitting it. Visibly shaken, Roy got out of the car and started weeping over what he had done. A few minutes later, a woman stops and asks him why he’s crying over the rabbit. “Because I killed it,” he replies. The woman took a closer look and says, “It’s still breathing. I can fix…

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Rabbi Visit

A Rabbi went out one Saturday to visit his members. At one house it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the Rabbi had knocked several times. Finally, the Rabbi took out his card and wrote “Ezekiel 44:16” on the back of it, and stuck it in the door. (They shall enter My house, and they shall come near My table, to minister to Me.) The next day, the card turned up in…

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Lab Rabbit

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. “Wow, this is great,” he thought. It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight – lots of other bunny rabbits, all…

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Rabbi and the IRS

Rabbi Schwartz answers his phone. “Hello. Is this Rabbi Schwartz?” “It is.” “This is the IRS. Can you help us?” “Probably.” “Do you know a Sam Cohen?” “I do.” “Is he a member of your congregation?” “He is.” “Did he donate $10,000?” “He will.”

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Rabbis go to Mass

At a Mass at which some young ladies were to take their finals vows to become nuns, the presiding Bishop noticed two Rabbis enter the church just before the service began. They insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle. The Bishop wondered why they had come, but he didn’t have time to inquire before the Mass began. When it came time for the announcements, the Bishop’s curiosity got the better of him. He welcomed the two…

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Read JokeRabbis go to Mass

Who started this?

A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world’s first professional. The Doctor said, “It must have been a doctor. Who else could have helped with the world’s first surgery of taking a rib from Adam to create Eve, the first woman?” “No,” said the rabbi. “It must have been a rabbi, since the Lord needed someone to help preach his message to Adam and the world.” “Wait,” said the engineer. “The world was…

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How cheap were they?

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as caddies. While walking around the course, the English man’s wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground. Her skirt was over her head revealing that she wasn’t wearing any knickers! The Englishman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her state of undress. “Well darling,” she explained, “you give me so…

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Federal Offense

A forest ranger is making rounds in a remote part of the wooded reserve when he comes across an unkempt man, sitting at a make-shift campfire, and, to the ranger’s astonishment, eating a fish and a bald eagle. The man is consequently put in jail for the crime. He was soon brought to trial for his crime. The Judge asked the man, “Do you know that eating a bald eagle is a federal offense?” “Yes, I do, Judge,” replied the…

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Read JokeFederal Offense