Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This little girl Susie comes home from school and asks her mom if she can take the dog for a walk. Her mom says “No, Rover is in heat!” Susie asks her mom what that means. “Susie go ask your dad!” She goes out to the garage and asks her father the same question. Her father says, “Give me the dog for a moment.” He pours gas on its butt. Then, he tells Susie, “You can take Rover for a…
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1) If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? 2) I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. 3) If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be YOU by morning! 4) How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or “fertilized”? 5) I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face. 6) My love for…
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As President Clinton returns to Washington after a brief trip to Arkansas, he gets off the helicopter carrying a fat Arkansas Razorback Pig with a Blue Ribbon. A handsome young Marine snaps a salute to the President and says, “That’s a great pig, Sir.” “Yes,” smiles Bill, “I got it for Hillary.” “Excellent trade, Sir.”
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A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer’s field. The old farmer, after seeing what happened, went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer…
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A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, “Johnnie! What?s your problem?” Johnnie says, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister’s in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!” The teacher had had enough. As a result, she took Johnnie to the principal’s office and explained Johnnie’s request. While Johnnie waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the situation…
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1. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points. 2. Sit in the front and color in your textbook. 3. Introduce yourself to the class as the “master of the pan flute”. 4. Wear earmuffs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to speak louder. 5. Squint thoughtfully while giving the professor strange looks. In the middle of the lecture, tell him he looks familiar and ask if he was ever in an episode…
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What follows is the Commencement address that was thought to have been given by: Kurt Vonnegut recently at MIT **************************************** Turns out that he didn’t, but it got back to him, he read it, and said he wished that he had written it. Lenochka **************************************** Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’98: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists,…
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Little Johnny woke up one morning with the shits, so he asked his his mom if he could stay home. She told him he could stay home from school, but only if he went to the store to get some medicine first. Johnny asked her what would he do if he had to shit on the way there, or on the way back home. She gave him a hat and told him to go in it if he couldn’t wait.…
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The teacher is giving the class geography with a globe. She askes Peter if he can point out North America. Peter turns the globe for a few seconds, then answers correctly. “Very good, Peter,” the teacher praised. Then, turning to another boy, she asked, “Johnny, who discovered North America?” To that Johnny answers, “PETER!”
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Q:What is the Irish definition of casual drinking? A:Drinking through straws.
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