Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed; driving his partner nuts. Finally, his exasperated partner says, “What’s taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!” The other guy answers, “My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot.” “Forget it, man,” his partner answered, “you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell of hitting…
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One day a woman was walking along the beach thinking of the sad state of her life, for her husband had just told her that he wanted a divorce. As she was walking, she tripped over something in the sand. The woman picked the object up, revealing a lamp. The woman rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared before her. “I will grant you three wishes,” the genie said, “but whatever you wish for, your husband will get double.” The…
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A Chicago man dies and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.” The man says, “No problem. I’m from Chicago.” So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to the Chicago man to see how he’s doing. To the devil’s surprise, the man is doing just…
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Q: How come a lesbian can’t be on a diet and wear make-up at the same time? A: Because you can’t eat Jenny Craig when you already have Mary Kay on your face.
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One policeman says to the other: “When I get home, I am going to rip the wife’s knickers and bra off.” “That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it!?” says the other policeman. “No, the elastic is killing me!!!” was replied.
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A black cat crosses your path and drops dead. You take an assertiveness training course and you’re afraid to tell your wife. The candles on your cake set off your smoke alarm. Your chauffeur is on parole for car theft. You have to take out a loan just to get money for the down payment. Your children’s school calls to surrender. The bride’s family throws rocks instead of rice. Your wife wraps your lunch in a road map. Your plants…
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No, really, I’m O.K. to drive… – I’m wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I’m going with I’m not used to these darts… – I’m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I’m this bombed. Let’s go out to my car and get some cigarettes…(male to female) – You would look great face down in my lap. Want to check out my new car stereo? (male to female) – I have…
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A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years, and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony…
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A man came home from work sporting two black eyes. “What happened to you?” asked his wife. “I’ll never understand women,” he replied. “I was riding up on an escalator behind this pretty young girl, and I noticed that her skirt was stuck in the crack of her butt. So I pulled it out, and she turned around and punched me in the eye!” “I can certainly appreciate that,” said the wife, “but how did you get the second black…
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A guy is nagged by his wife, who is ardently supported by his mother-in-law. They ask him for a vacation, so he goes around shopping for the cheapest offer. The salesman offers him a vacation for two to New Zealand with two confirmed Silk Air flights, free breakfast, Bungee jumping- No strings attached. The man asked the salesman if he could forgo other benefits for extra bungee jumping with no strings attached.
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